March 7, 2008 in GENRES
WITLESS PROTECTION
CAROLINE: Believe it or not, I actually saw the new Larry the Cable Guy movie, “Witless Protection.”
RYAN: I’m sorry, I think I just hallucinated for a minute. What did you just say?CAROLINE: I know, it’s incredibly bizarre, and it goes against everything I believe in. I vow to never seen another one, and I’d like the record to show that I saw it for free. But I really love this actress, Ivana Milicevic, who co-stars as the woman that Larry kidnaps by mistake. I kind of have a girl crush on her.
RYAN: Wow. That is devotion. Who is she?
CAROLINE: She was the hot neighbor of Reese Witherspoon in “Just Like Heaven.” And she had a bit part in “Casino Royale.”
RYAN: I barely remember her, but yes, she is hot.
CAROLINE: She was the only reason I could sit through this painful film. I barely even chuckled once. She had some lines that were supposed to be funny, but even she could barely muddle through them. Oddly, other people at the screening were laughing out loud.RYAN: Well, LBH, Larry the Cable Guy’s humor pretty much caters to the lowest common denominator.
CAROLINE: True. I knew what I was in for. But the fart and vomit jokes were even worse than I anticipated.
RYAN: Bottom line?
CAROLINE: I would pay you not to see this movie. It’s absurd and a waste of time. I’ve heard that even fans of Larry the Cable Guy hate his movies as a rule. This was clearly reflected in the box office that this movie has gotten, which is virtually none. But my girl Ivana is hot, and I support her in everything she does.
RYAN: Let us not speak of this again.