UNTRACEABLE
RYAN: Diane Lane’s latest film offering “Untraceable” could also be titled “Silence of the Lambs 2.”
CAROLINE: Given that there have been several sequels and prequels to that movie, I think we’d have to call it “Silence of the Lambs 6.” Not that it’s anywhere near the quality of “Silence of the Lambs,” but it has definitely has similar themes what with the FBI stuff and all.
RYAN: Diane Lane is so talented, and the cast also includes Tom Hanks Jr. whose proper name is Colin. I wonder how he got into the business?
CAROLINE: I’d like to applaud Diane Lane for her lack of Botox. And while I’m sure she had some makeup on in this movie, she barely wore any and looked very natural. Almost Plain Jane-ish actually.
RYAN: I love that she’s a real woman in this movie. Her boobs are saggy and everything.
CAROLINE: Also noteworthy is Billy Burke who plays a detective and would-be love interest for Diane. He’s way hot.
RYAN: I take personal offense that the one creepy guy in the film who gives them a tip about the murderer is gay. And what was up with Diane Lane’s mom being a butch lesbian?
CAROLINE: That was hilarious. It was never addressed in the film, but she had this inexplicably single mom who lives with her, has super short gray hair and an affinity for power tools. ‘Nuff said.
RYAN: I was surprisingly scared during this film. It’s really intense. There’s cruelty to animals, so be warned.
CAROLINE: Hello, how about cruelty to humans?
RYAN: This just in, I don’t like torture. And there’s a lot of it in this movie.
CAROLINE: It’s rawther unsettling. Basically, the movie’s about a guy who kills people live on the internet, and by logging onto his site, people assist in the killing through web hits. The trailer doesn’t really show you how grisly and graphic the movie is.
RYAN: It’s a commentary on our sick infatuation with pop culture and voyeurism, watching people suffer and fail. It makes you wonder if people would really log onto a site like this. I’d like to think they wouldn’t, but people really love to watch.
CAROLINE: Let’s hope this film doesn’t inspire some crazy copycat. Sometimes it scares me that movies like this could give someone ideas.
RYAN: I know, but you could really say that about any horror film. Let’s hope people take their cues from movies like “Enchanted” instead. Go out and marry a prince! So what’s your bottom line?
CAROLINE: This movie was a lot creepier and sicker that I thought it would be. It’s not a true horror film, but it’s definitely bloody and scary. I’d recommend it even though it made me feel icky and uncomfortable. Overall, I enjoyed it. It’s well paced, it’s tense in a good way and Diane Lane does a great job.
RYAN: I’d give it a 6 or 7 out of 10 as far as scary movies go. It loses steam about 3/4 of the way through and then has a predictable ending. I would have liked to see one more layer or twist. It would have punched up the end a little bit.
CAROLINE: The ending was definitely predictable, but it didn’t go down exactly the way I thought it would. Let’s just say I enjoyed seeing Diane be a badass.