THE VIRGINITY HIT

CAROLINE: Opening in limited release this week is the teen sex comedy The Virginity Hit, and I can’t say whether it’ll be one or not. I skipped the screening. How was it?

RYAN: Not very inspired. It’s really just a bunch of kids talking about sex and smoking pot. The virginity hit is the hit of pot they smoke upon each losing his virginity.

CAROLINE: Ah. And how many of them are there?

RYAN: There’s four dudes and the film focuses on the last one’s mission to lose it.

CAROLINE: Haven’t we seen this before, with a bigger budget, and it was called American Pie?

RYAN: Yes and once again the guys are all so fugly and the girls are gorge.

CAROLINE: Hello, Superbad?

RYAN: Exactly.

CAROLINE: Was there anything redeeming about it?

RYAN: There was one plot point I found interesting but the rest of it just drags on. At one point our pal Cosmo, who came as my guest, leaned over and asked if I wanted to walk out.

CAROLINE: [gasps’ OMG. He hated it that much?

RYAN: I think he could just tell I wasn’t into it. It wasn’t that bad that I felt like I couldn’t stay but let’s say it’s bad enough that if I’d paid for it, I would have regretted it.

CAROLINE: Not good.

RYAN: I’ve just seen too many of these faux-documentaries in a row now.

CAROLINE: They’re called mockumentaries.

RYAN: Well played.

CAROLINE: Even though I read this flick was produced by Will Ferrell, I just don’t care enough to see it.

RYAN: Before the movie, I have to tell you, the director was at the screening to introduce it and he said, “If you like it, tweet it, Facebook it, text it… But if you don’t just keep it to yourself.”

CAROLINE: But you have a responsibility to the people!

— BOTTOM LINE —

RYAN: It’s just a very typical take on this typical high school story shot in the cheapest way possible.

— RATING —