THE TOURIST

RYAN: The first time Hollywood superstars Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie met was to discuss the possibility of co-starring in The Tourist, which is new in theaters today.

CAROLINE: I was very excited for this movie, and will generally see anything either of them is in. But this movie is a large disappointment.

RYAN: Ugh, totally. It’s not enough to just take two gorgeous A-list actors and throw them in a movie together; the other elements have to be there too. This movie fails mostly because it’s slow and boring and didn’t really do anything for me. Plus I figured out the ending about a quarter of the way through.

CAROLINE: I did not, but I was still annoyed by the ending. And after enjoying the first 20 minutes of the movie, I found myself bored. I really wasn’t expecting that since the trailer was so fun. I wouldn’t have been surprised if the movie was just fluffy and silly, but I really didn’t think it would be dull.

RYAN: From the trailer, I thought Johnny Depp’s character was going to be cute and silly, which was fine. But what we got was labored dialogue and really slow scenes between the two stars where they’re milking every line. And the lines aren’t worthy of being milked. I kept waiting for the movie to move along or for something exciting to happen.

CAROLINE: The script was definitely problematic. I’m surprised that Johnny Depp and Angelina agreed to do this movie, but they both probably wanted the paycheck and the opportunity to shoot together in Venice. They’re not idiots.

RYAN: The mere fact that these two are co-starring in a movie may be enough for the film to recoup its costs, but it doesn’t make for a great movie; especially for it to come out this time of year during Oscar season. Now we know why there’s very little buzz around it.

CAROLINE: It’s is not going to be well reviewed, though it still could do well at the box office due to its cast. I was surprised to see Paul Bettany in it as a cop. He’s not in the trailer at all.

RYAN: The other thing is, I’ve gotten really used to enjoying Angelina in action movies, which this is not. It’s just kind of a not-very-exciting espionage movie. I don’t even know if espionage is the right word, but it’s certainly neither an action movie nor a thriller, and I much prefer Angelina in more action-driven films.

CAROLINE: I guess it’s kind of a cop chase/mistaken identity movie. It sounds more fun than it is, unfortunately. It’s all very silly, and then it sort of comes together at the end, but even then I didn’t buy it. I was underwhelmed.

RYAN: Angelina’s hair was very strange too.

CAROLINE: It hangs all the way down her back like a horse’s tail. Hair like that doesn’t exist in nature. I’m assuming it was bad extensions.

RYAN: It just looked like a really bad wig to me.

CAROLINE: She also struggled walking in her high heels. Her supposedly sexy walk is highlighted in several scenes of her strolling down the street, but it looked like she was trying way too hard.

RYAN: That being said, she’s remarkably gorgeous and unlike anyone else. Her costumes were great too.

CAROLINE: OMG she looked exactly like Audrey Hepburn in one scene! I almost gasped.

RYAN: Johnny Depp looks good but not great. Maybe his hotness diminishes a little next to Angelina.

CAROLINE: I thought he looked like a lady in this movie. Too much makeup, perhaps.

— BOTTOM LINE —

RYAN: It’s boring and way less exciting than I thought it would be. I can’t really recommend it. I think I’d even be disappointed in this movie as a rental. I might turn off the DVD halfway through. But if you like these stars, you’ll probably want to see it anyway.

CAROLINE: I was relieved when it was over. After about an hour of it, I was praying it wouldn’t be much longer than 90 minutes, which luckily it wasn’t. It tries to be an exciting, mysterious, romantic movie about an adventure between two strangers in Venice, but it fails miserably. Johnny and Angelina’s chemistry isn’t even all that. Try harder next time, guys.

— RATING —