THE MESSENGERS

RYAN: I have one message for you, Caroline: “The Messengers” was scary.

CAROLINE: I found it sort of comically bad, actually. There were a couple of scary moments; but overall, it was laughably bad.

RYAN: I’m surprised to hear you say that. The goal of a scary movie is to scare. And you can’t tell me you didn’t jump a few times.

CAROLINE: Oh, I certainly did.

RYAN: And you wet yourself?

CAROLINE: I certainly did not. There were a couple moments of creepiness that made me jump in my seat. But I didn’t like this movie. And I should preface that by saying that I don’t like this genre. I hate being tense and nervous during every minute of a film. And I wasn’t that tense during this because it wasn’t all that scary, but it did have its moments.

RYAN: And that’s why you’re not a good judge of this film. You just admitted you don’t like scary movies, whereas I do. This was a great one, very scary. But sadly, the movie was almost ruined for me because of the girls on either side of us answering their phones and having full conversations.

CAROLINE: It was unbelievable. I guess there’s no such thing as turning your cell phone off in the movies anymore.

RYAN: What’s the point of having the dancing popcorn tell us to silence our cell phones when no one obeys?

CAROLINE: What is the world coming to?

RYAN: I wanted to pour my soda over their heads. Anyway, there was just one part of the movie that was over-the-top and ridiculous, and it goes by the name of John Corbett.

CAROLINE: It was nice to see Aidan getting some work after “Sex and the City.” And he was decent for most of the movie. But I think I know the part you’re referring to, where he was overdoing it a little.

RYAN: He suddenly turns a fine performance into over-the-top ridiculousness.

CAROLINE: I choose to think that it was the director’s fault.

RYAN: Perhaps. I loved seeing Kristen Stewart in a leading role. She played Jodie Foster’s daughter in “Panic Room.” And she’s gorgeous!

CAROLINE: She certainly has grown up. In “Panic Room,” you couldn’t even tell if she was a boy or a girl. But in this movie, I really had no idea that she was going to carry the whole film.

RYAN: Well, her name was first in the credits – that was my clue.

CAROLINE: Whatever. The movie doesn’t have enough backstory. I didn’t care about the characters.

RYAN: But they give you all sorts of clues as to what’s going down and then they reveal a major backstory.

CAROLINE: Yes, but it came too late in the film. I just felt like I had no reason to be invested in these characters.

RYAN: Fine. Penelope Ann Miller, who we recently spoke to on our radio show, said about this film…

CAROLINE: She said it was more of a ghost story than a horror/slasher flick, and she’s right, mercifully. It’s not bloody, it’s just creepy.

RYAN: Indeed. And Dylan McDermott was hot.

CAROLINE: Wow, was he hot!

RYAN: He is the marrying kind.

CAROLINE: He’s T, D & H for shizz.

RYAN: Huh?

CAROLINE: Tall, dark and handsome.

RYAN: Yes, a definite D.I.L.F.

CAROLINE: Bottom line?

RYAN: Overall, is this one of the best horror flicks of all time? No. But it’s only ninety minutes; it gives you bang for your buck; it’s well-acted and a good movie for this time of year. And I liked it.

CAROLINE: I’m going to have to go ahead and agree to disagree with you, Ryan. I didn’t think it was very good. To me, it was not an enjoyable movie-going experience.