The Boy Next Door Review

RYAN: This movie is so bad it’s good.  Honestly… it has many good components in it that just add up to zero. It’s worse than a B movie but better than a made-for-TV.  It’s like it should be on Mystery Science Theatre or something.  It’s fun to make fun of.

CAROLINE: I’ve sort of been dying to hear this.  And I had the hunch it would be.  The trailer looks horrible.  Oh J.Lo – How the mighty have fallen.

RYAN: I’ve always enjoyed her as an actress and it’s been a while since she’s made a movie.  She did a few rom coms and this film is a thriller, without any thrills, unless you count the bedroom variety.  That scene was steamy, sexy, thrilling – and really more of a Showtime After Dark or Skinemax movie that a real one.

CAROLINE: (laughs) I love it.  It’s everything I imagined it would be.  You have J.Lo and Aidan from Sex and the City.

RYAN: They’re so borderline cheesy in this movie.  They don’t really have chemistry but it works because they play a married couple who is separated.

CAROLINE: This is just such a typical January release.  It’s surprising they even screened it for critics.

RYAN: Totally.  This movie is so melodramatic and it’s 90 minutes and feels like it was probably longer but I imagine as they put it together, so much of it was so cheesy, they kept editing it out until it was as short as it could be and still be a full length feature.

CAROLINE: (laughs) That would be hilarious.  How was Kristin Chenoweth? You love her?

RYAN: Love her! And it’s just to see her in such a serious role but I still just smile with delight anytime I see her anywhere.  She definitely steps out of her comfort zone here, while still playing the obligatory BFF.  She’s always a breath a fresh air – even in this wanna-be-thriller.

CAROLINE: So it’s not a thriller?

RYAN: It’s too absurd to be. It’s written and edited as a thriller but it teeters on spoof because it’s all so over the top.

CAROLINE: Who’s the cute boy?

RYAN: Ryan Guzman.  He is cute.  He looks like a young Marlon Brando.  He’s done a couple Step Up movies.  He’s not particularly good but that could just be the material.  John Corbett is actually the weakest link in this film.

CAROLINE: Poor J.Lo.

RYAN: They used the Barbra Streisand filter on her.  Everyone else in in focus and then all of Jennifer’s close-ups are fuzzy, like there was gauze on the lens.

CAROLINE: I can’t believe it.  She looks great.  I wouldn’t think she needs that.

RYAN: I screened this in Chicago and the other critics and audience were just laughing when it wasn’t supposed to be funny.  Even I chortled at it, not with it.

CAROLINE: It just sounds so cringeworthy.

RYAN: That’s a brilliant way to describe it.  I was rooting for it, but it’s really just a bad movie.  Thrillers that lack suspense are pretty unforgivable.  The end is really strange.  There’s a climax but not a resolution.  It just ends.  Very strange.  While I can’t in good conscience recommend this movie, I do think it would be fun to see with a group of friends, just to tear it apart together.

Thanks For Viewing The The Boy Next Door Review