Taken 3 Review

RYAN: Did Taken really need to become a trilogy?  No need to respond.  That was rhetorical.  The first was mediocre and the second a waste of time – now this one is a complete mess.  At least the proclaim “It Ends Here” loud and proud on the poster.  The world doesn’t need another.

CAROLINE: Yeah I suppose.  But Taken 2 made $139 million at the box office and they expect this new one to do about $30 mill this weekend.

RYAN: How?!  With the best movies of 2014 now playing – The Imitation Game, Unbroken, Into the Woods, Birdman… why would anyone choose to see this?

CAROLINE: I know!

RYAN: It’s predictable, devoid of innovation in action, lousy dialogue, horrible editing and completely amateurish.

CAROLINE: Please don’t hold back.

RYAN: (laughs) Seriously, the editing is so awful during the shaky-cam action scenes that you can’t really even tell who is where or what’s happening to whom.  And for the record – being rated PG-13 ruined it too.  There’s so much violent killing – guns, knifes… and not a drop of blood.  It’s just so fake and ridiculous.  They should have just killed everyone with fists to at least make the killing look plausible.  That angers me.

CAROLINE: How’s the pacing?

RYAN: It’s slow.  There’s no real suspense or climactic feeling.  You’d think after two previous films, you’d really care about this family, but at this point, I just wanted to pull Liam Neeson’s character aside and be like, “It’s called Rapunzel. Lock them up in a tower and stop worrying.”

CAROLINE: (laughs) Exactly!

RYAN: The score is bad too – just a lot of rolling drums.

CAROLINE: How is the cast?

RYAN: Liam is fine but the script is so lame you don’t care.  And Forest Whitaker is in an embarrassing role.  The cops all look so stupid in this movie because the screenplay is so weak.  Even Maggie Grace is one dimensional.

CAROLINE: None of this surprises me,

RYAN: It’s a very typical January release.  We used to call this month No Mans Land for movies – the vast wasteland – and Taken 3 is an example why.

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