ROCK OF AGES

RYAN: Musicals are among my two favorite genres and I loved this show on Broadway.  I like Adam Shankman, and the cast is great so I was eagerly anticipating this film.  But I have to admit I’m bummed by this. 

CAROLINE: I feel you, but I really liked it. I had to accept that it was never going to be as good as the Broadway version, and once I did that, I was able to enjoy the ride. And you know how much I love Adam Shankman!

RYAN: I adore him!  The movie’s alright; but at its best it’s ho hum fun. Overall, though, it’s just boring and slow.

CAROLINE: It definitely didn’t need to be a full two hours long; they could have made some cuts.  But the production numbers were great. I was totally singing along and rocking out in my seat.

RYAN: Mia Michaels did the choreography and we love her from TV’s So You Think You Can Dance.  There was some great dancing but I actually wanted more of it.

CAROLINE: I totally wanted more!! I wanted more traditional full-scale dance numbers, especially since the lead girl, Julianne Hough aka Ryan Seacrest’s girlfriend, is a professional dancer.  But we barely got to see her dance at all, sadly.

 

RYAN: She and Diego Boneta, the male lead, were great.  They’re cute and sing really well.  

CAROLINE: I actually have a bit of a girl crush on Julianne Hough.  Her voice isn’t the best and she’s not gonna win an Oscar anytime soon, but she was fine. As for Diego, it’s his feature film debut.  I kinda wished he were cuter though. 

RYAN: Cute enough.  The best scenes were absolutely the musical numbers.  But then all the dialogue scenes were tedious.  I was really just waiting for the next song the whole time.  The story changed a bit from the stage show. A character was cut, music was different, it’s less connected.

CAROLINE: Some of the talky scenes were lame, I guess.  I don’t think it bothered me as much as it did you.

RYAN: The stakes just didn’t seem as high and as a result, I was much less invested.  You don’t really care about what happens and that’s a major problem.

CAROLINE: Again, I hear you; but I was too busy enjoying the songs to care too much about the story.  I just loved all the costumes, hair and music.

RYAN: Adam Shankman does good period musicals.  Between Baltimore in the ’60s in Hairspray and then LA in the ’80s here, he totally gets the essence.

CAROLINE: I was prepared to hate Russell Brand and Alec Baldwin because I just wasn’t feeling them casting-wise; but they turned out to be very funny together, aside from Russell’s dumb one-liners.

RYAN: Russell Brand can really crank out the tunage.  For being divorced from a pop star, I’d almost wished he dueted once with Katy Perry.  I’m not sure if they ever did.  But Tom Cruise stole the show for me.  He was truly original and his voice was amazing.  He can rock out!  The moral question with movie musicals is always putting in big names instead of Broadway voices, and the box office draw always wins out.  But Tom is totally worthy of the role.

CAROLINE: Totally.  He owns this role.  You can tell he worked his ass off to make it believable, and I completely bought it.  The scene where he sings “Pour Some Sugar on Me” as Stacee Jaxx was the highlight. Totally awesome.

RYAN: It’s a sort of tongue-in-cheek performance.  Some of the humor is so over the top, it’s practically done with a wink to the camera.

CAROLINE: Yeah, that’s when some of Russell Brand’s gags started to bug me.  But I find him annoying and unsexy in general. 

RYAN: The overall humor is a little hokey but it goes with the dated tone of the film.  Back to Tom though, I thought his chemistry with Malin Akerman was awesome and she’s great in it too.

CAROLINE: Her body is sick.  I liked her in this.  I also could have seen Cameron Diaz in the role.

RYAN: Mary J. Blige was great but underused.

CAROLINE: I loved her voice, but her character did nothing for me.  Her scenes definitely could have been cut down.

RYAN: CZ Jones was fine and had one of the bigger dance scenes in the film.

CAROLINE: Her Botox is way over the top, but she was perfect for this role.  And I know she got her start dancing and singing, and LBH, won an Oscar for her role in Chicago, so we know she has those chops.  I just loved hearing everyone sing – even Alec Baldwin impressed me.  I’m sure everyone was autotuned within a inch of their lives though.

  

RYAN: Oh beyond!  I didn’t, however, love Paul Giammatti in this.  He was appropriately slimey but just not the best.

CAROLINE: Oh really?  I thought he was perfect! The bad hair, the earring, the douchey attitude.  I thought it was a great role for him.

— BOTTOM LINE —

CAROLINE: For anyone who loves this kind of ’80s music, this is a must-see.  It hit very close to home for me.  I was a goody two shoes in high school, but I was obsessed with all these bands and in a parallel life, I would have totally been a hair chick who wore ripped clothes and rushed the stage.  For people like me, you will love this movie.

RYAN:  I liked the movie but wanted to love it like I usually do with musicals.  The performances, period-ness and choreography make this movie worth it but the script and the story are sorry.  It’s not a must see on the big screen.  I actually preferred Christina Aguilera’s Burlesque to this, to be honest.

— RATING —