Pompeii Review
RYAN: Well this has some of the makings of a major blockbuster – epic scope, big effects, 3D… and then kinda halts there. The script, cast, story, suspension of disbelief all fall short. There are some decent moments, but this is a pretty big mess of a movie.
CAROLINE: Yeah even the poster looks pretty melodramatic.
RYAN: Yes that’s a really great example. The poster kind of sums it all up. The effects in the movie are the best part, well, the effects and Kit Harrington’s biceps.
CAROLINE: (laughs) I don’t know who that is.
RYAN: He’s the lead. He plays a slave-turned-gladiator. This movie takes place in post-biblical times and he’s in Hercules shape. The fight scenes are highly and well choreographed but it’s the special effects that are most soaring; especially the volcano erupting, Mount Vesuvius, and also a big tidal wave at the end.
CAROLINE: How’s the 3D?
RYAN: It’s fair enough. The script is so over the top, melodramatic and outright cheesy and at times, even campy. Some of the death scenes are ridiculous and laughable. And then the lovers, Kit and Emily Browning whom I equally like and am annoyed by, have chemistry but suffer due to bad writing.
CAROLINE: How do I know Emily?
RYAN: She’s been in Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events and Sucker Punch.
CAROLINE: Oh we hated that movie. It was so awful!
RYAN: Yeah this one’s middy better than that. I actually enjoyed their subplot. They have a bit of chemistry and I was more interested in their love than the fact an entire population was going to be obliterated by a volcano.
CAROLINE: You’re heartless.
RYAN: Please. It’s ridiculous and you can tell. Some moments are so campy, like certain deaths, that it gives you the chills because it’s so bad.
CAROLINE: Isn’t Kiefer Sutherland in it?
RYAN: Oh my God. He is so out of place in this movie. The language he uses, bad writing yes, but it’s just so awful. He’s probably the worst part and he’s the most famous person in it. The film is trying so hard to be epic but most of it just comes across very awkward.
CAROLINE: Sounds like a mess.
RYAN: Enough of a mess for me to deter anyone from seeing it. There are far better movies to see than this one and it would even be better to stay home and watch an old DVD before wasting your time here.
