NINE

RYAN: We’ve finally seen one of the movies we’ve talked more about than any other this year, the musical “Nine.” For those of you who don’t follow your musical theater, it’s about an Italian film director in the ’60s who’s a major womanizer.

CAROLINE: We actually saw this show on Broadway together many years ago when it starred Jane Krakowski and Antonio Banderas. It’s not my favorite show by any means, but I was still looking forward to the movie since it has a glorious cast. And LBH, we always love a musical.

RYAN: Part of the problem is that it doesn’t have any truly memorable songs; but at least the movie version has a great director, Rob Marshall, who did “Chicago” and “Memoirs of a Geisha.” Strangely, my favorite song from the stage show, performed by Nicole Kidman in the movie, was not my favorite in the film. I teared-up when I saw it on Broadway but in the movie it was totally chopped up and interspersed with dialogue, ruining the emotional build.

CAROLINE: Rob Marshall utilizes the same technique as in “Chicago” where the musical numbers are all part of the characters’ imaginations. It works, but it also kind of denies the movie from truly being a musical. I just want Rob to embrace the cheese and make an unabashed musical for once!

RYAN: Me too. I understand the device, but I don’t want him to become a director who only makes movie musicals if he can rationalize the musical numbers as fantasy.

CAROLINE: The thing that frustrates me the most about this and several other movie musicals is the deliberate casting of actresses who are famous rather than ones who can really sing and dance. Penélope Cruz gives a great acting performance but her singing and dancing isn’t all that. Marion Cotillard is gorgeous and amazing as Daniel Day-Lewis’s wife, but she really can’t sing. The glaring exception is Fergie, whose musical number blew me away. Hearing her sing makes it so apparent how sub-par the other girls are.

RYAN: Well, she’s a Grammy winning singer so there you go. The biggest offender to me was Kate Hudson; I was so excited for her musical number based on the ads I’d seen on TV, but even though she can sing, her dancing is so lame. Her scene is a show-stopper, with a song newly-written for the film, but she basically just does a lot of hair-ography.

CAROLINE: I thought her dancing was OK but it’s nothing you or I couldn’t have done. They didn’t exactly give her complex steps to do. I thought she pulled it off though, and hers might have even been my second favorite musical number of the movie. I’m a little over Nicole Kidman at this point; I heard she wasn’t even close to being Rob Marshall’s first choice for the role. And Penélope Cruz looked very sexy in her number but her dancing was mediocre.

RYAN: I wonder what Jane Krakowski thinks of it all given that she won the Tony for the Penélope role. She probably would have killed to be in this movie.

CAROLINE: Totally. I mean, I know they want to sell tickets and get everyone to see the movie so they have to cast stars, but it would have been such a better movie if the women could actually sing. I hate that truly talented singers and dancers are denied leading roles in movies like this.

RYAN: I know you weren’t digging Marion Cotillard’s voice, but I thought she was freaking amazing in this. She is a one of the best actresses ever. I only want to see movies starring her in the future.

CAROLINE: I loved her eye make-up in this movie. Daniel Day-Lewis is great of course, but don’t get me started on his singing voice. He is, however, the only one who could do a legitimate Italian accent.

RYAN: And Sophia Loren, of course.

CAROLINE: I’m sorry but she looks like a dude.

RYAN: I think it’s a combination of old age and some serious B.P.S., bad plastic surgery.

CAROLINE: It’s a visually stunning film and it’s shot in a way that makes it look like an old movie from the ’60s. The musical numbers are great and the costumes are amazing, but it didn’t deliver in the way that “Chicago” did. The story’s just not as good.

RYAN: It’s a gorgeous movie, and all the shots of Italy were incredible. Judi Dench was a scene stealer, and her musical number reminded me a lot of Queen Latifah’s in “Chicago.” I wanted to stomp my feet and clap my hands at the end.

CAROLINE: That’s how I felt about Fergie’s number.

— BOTTOM LINE —

CAROLINE: I liked this movie because I love musicals and I love any movie with big dance numbers, but I didn’t love it as much as I’d hoped to. Since it’s not really my favorite show, I’m not as familiar with the music; but as you said, this show isn’t known for its fabulous score. I like that it has tons of beautiful women in it, but when they can’t sing or dance that well, it’s a problem. So while I enjoyed it, and it’s beautiful to look at, it disappointed me a little too. It’s a pretty artsy movie, so I’m not sure it’ll be a huge crowd pleaser. It got a lot of Golden Globe noms though.

RYAN: I liked this movie better on stage in some ways and better in film in others. I liked it better as a movie because I could follow the plot more easily – probably because you can understand Daniel Day-Lewis better than Antonio Banderas. It’s masterfully shot and gorgeous to look at. The musical numbers are all pretty brilliant; but I disliked it as a film during the parts when they chopped up the singing with dialogue. I’m sure I’ll like it even more with repeated viewings and end up getting the DVD. Who are we kidding?

— RATING —