MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA

RYAN: Ok. I’m on a bit of a high after seeing “Memoirs of a Geisha.” I swear to God this gets my vote for the Academy Award – Best Picture. This film was abba-solutely breathtaking! The competition, the backstabbing, the drama, the high stakes… the makeover sequence, you know…

CAROLINE: Do you want me to interrupt? I thought you were on a roll.

RYAN: I was so into every single aspect; the strong women. It was a very gay film. Rob Marshall, gay director, was very, very good. Not that I wanna put the gay spin on every film we see, but whatever, we just saw two gay movies in a row.

CAROLINE: Right.

RYAN: It was so beautifully framed, every single shot. Rob Marshall is the quintessential visual artist. He’s like a painter. The lighting and I just… this was my favorite film of the year.

CAROLINE: Better than “Harry Potter?”

RYAN: Yes.

CAROLINE: Better than “Harry Potter?”

RYAN: Ok, no…. I liked “Harry Potter” better; but, this is in a different category. This is my favorite among the ones that will be in the running for Oscar’s Best Picture.

CAROLINE: These are some powerful words from Yael. And while I thoroughly enjoyed the film, I do not feel as strongly as you. But I do believe it was very beautifully shot, very well acted. I really, I have to say, I was kind of blown away by the little girl. I know she was not the lead, but the little girl…

RYAN: Well you were awake for that part.

CAROLINE: (gasps) That is so not true! For those of you who know me, I did not doze in this movie.

RYAN: I swear I looked over and you were sleeping at one point.

CAROLINE: I promise you I was not. Promise, promise, promise. You know I would confess to this. I already confessed to dozing in “Syriana.”

RYAN: Oh, alright, alright. I take it back.

CAROLINE: I would remember. No. I liked it. I loved the little girl. I thought she was excellent. She had an even bigger part than I realized. I liked the love story. I liked it.

RYAN: Also, you called it out halfway through the film, but, I also really loved the “Cinderella” metaphor; the whole fairy tale there. Of course, then it goes way past any sort of happily ever after. But how wicked that one woman was and how conniving! The stakes were so high. And her achievement was so great; so into that.

CAROLINE: I hear you but I also like the angle of “This is the best we could hope for. This isn’t the best life.” You’re basically still a servant. And this is all one can aspire to; which, I think is interesting. Yeah it’s very glamorous and something she aspires to as a servant girl, but at the end of the day, she knows her place.

RYAN: It’s true and the culture’s all about honor and her honor’s gone, so I feel like… But she was a headliner, with the posters and she was the ultimate in glamour, a dancer and a performer and there was a bidding war and she became a legend.

CAROLINE: Yes, of whores.

RYAN: But we didn’t know that until that point, ultimately. Oh, she’s gonna have to give up the goods. All along, I kept thinking, “Thank God they don’t have to ‘go there.’”

CAROLINE: But being a geisha, normally, that one incident happens. And I believe it was very well articulated in the book, that it isn’t what it’s about at the end of the day. That once you’ve done that, you give it up.

RYAN: So it’s a one time “pay for sex” thing.

CAROLINE: I honestly don’t know the answer, but…

RYAN: Cuz if they’re just like glorified prostitutes then I’m…

CAROLINE: Some are.

RYAN: Yeah so, I thought the music was good. John Williams, who did the first three “Harry Potter” films; excellent score.

CAROLINE: Yo-Yo Ma & Itzhak Perlman. Yeah.

RYAN: All the cherry blossom trees.

CAROLINE: Great costumes

RYAN: The lighting… just like Rob Marshall did in “Chicago,” the black shadows and the stark white light, the blues, yellows, the reds. That was all here. And I think it was better than “Chicago.”

CAROLINE: Whoa ho ho ho. We are no longer friends.

RYAN: I mean the lighting! And Rob Marshall’s grown as a film director.

CAROLINE: Ok.

RYAN: So your best picture, thus far, is “Walk the Line?”

CAROLINE: Yeah.

RYAN: Ok. I think this was better.

CAROLINE: I don’t think it’s fair to compare. This was a period piece about another country; very exotic.

RYAN: But they’re gonna be up against each other in the same category so one must compare. And when the war came into it, this was Japan’s “Schindler’s List.” We haven’t seen a war film…

CAROLINE: Yeah but the war was such a minor part of it.

RYAN: There was a little bit of it.

CAROLINE: There was about 5 minutes… “This is Japan’s ‘Schinder’s list’” – Ryan Sucher. It’s like your Showtime quote for “Harry Potter.”

RYAN: Ok. Ok… Now, we need to get cheekier.

CAROLINE: I know. I was gonna say, I didn’t know they spoke English in Japan in the 1930s. That’s so fascinating. Wow!

RYAN: Also, we read time and again, these were all Chinese actors.

CAROLINE: It’s basically “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Redux.” And bring me the dude from Last Samurai.

RYAN: And it was a little long. But that’s the other thing that made it feel best picture to me. It was “English Patient” long.

CAROLINE: I didn’t doze, but I could’ve.

RYAN: Exactly. I didn’t wanna doze, but I should’ve.

CAROLINE: For the record, you were blowing your nose the entire time.

RYAN: Yes. I have a cold. And each time I’d blow my nose, the girl in the seat on the other side of me would move a little further away.

CAROLINE: “Maybe he’s contagious. Get him away from me.”

RYAN: So, final thoughts.

CAROLINE: At the end of the day, I enjoyed it. I had heard it was not very good. I was pleasantly surprised to see that it was in fact, pretty good.

RYAN: And bring it on: every other film we’re about to see… Cuz so far, this is my best picture. I mean, there are two weeks left? It’s not gonna be “The Producers.”

CAROLINE: No, but we haven’t seen “Matchpoint.”

RYAN: I cannot wait!

CAROLINE: And there’s a lot of good movies coming out.

RYAN: Ok.

CAROLINE: And don’t forget “Mr. & Mrs. Smith,” Yael.

RYAN: Right, and “The Closer.” I mean, “Crash.”