LITTLE FOCKERS

CAROLINE: I was truly dreading the screening of Little Fockers, a movie I knew I would hate before I even saw it. And guess what? I was right.

RYAN: I can’t say I’m surprised. And I can’t say I’m sad I was unable to attend the screening with you.

CAROLINE: Consider yourself lucky. I knew from the trailer that the humor would be beyond juvenile, and it sure was – there were vomit jokes, penis jokes, butt jokes, you name it. Also a very Three’s Company-esque “misunderstanding” between Robert De Niro and Ben Stiller that was so unfunny.

RYAN: Wow, they’ve really sunk to new lows when they’re ripping off sitcoms from the 1970s. Not that I didn’t love Three’s Company, mind you. How was the cast?

CAROLINE: Ben Stiller was surprisingly not as annoying as he can be. But I was embarrassed for Robert De Niro all around. Some of his dialogue is so painful that I can’t believe his agent didn’t try to make them change the script. Owen Wilson is random and annoying, Teri Polo is just happy to be there, and Jessica Alba was actually kind of cute.

RYAN: Oh yeah – I forgot she was in this. Her acting wasn’t too atrosh?

CAROLINE: No, it was actually a good part for her, and she played it well. She looked gorgeous, of course. Then the Fockers themselves, Dustin Hoffman and Barbra Streisand, are in it for a bit, and they’re fine. But again, I was mortified for Dustin Hoffman and what he had to do. They have him off in Spain learning flamenco dancing, and it was just so ridiculous.

RYAN: It sounds horrendous. Was there anything redeeming?

CAROLINE: Honestly, not really. The whole time I was just waiting for it to end. Dumb jokes and unfunny mishaps do not a good comedy make. The only thing that made it slightly tolerable was the cast. Even though the story is ridiculous, at least it’s being told by decent, recognizable actors.

RYAN: The crazy thing is I’m sure this movie will be a big hit for Christmas, especially with families.

CAROLINE: Oh totally. I’m sure people will come out in droves to see it over the weekend, which I just can’t understand. I don’t think I laughed even once. And you know what’s even worse? They totally set up the ending for another sequel.

RYAN: Oh, my eyes! They can’t do that to us.

CAROLINE: It really doesn’t seem fair, but I’m pretty sure it’s going to happen. Teri Polo can once again thank the movie gods that she’ll work again some day.

— BOTTOM LINE —

CAROLINE: Please don’t see this movie. It’s dumb. If you like dumb, silly, juvenile humor, then you’ll like it. If not, you’ll lose 98 minutes of your life. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

— RATING —