JONAH HEX
CAROLINE: I knew very little about the new movie Jonah Hex other than it stars Megan Fox and the fabulous Josh Brolin and is based on a comic book.
RYAN: That’s about all I knew too.
CAROLINE: Well, in all of its 80-minute glory, I also learned that John Malkovich plays the bad guy and there are a host of cameos from other people you’d recognize.
RYAN: I’m sorry… did you say 80 minutes? I knew I should have seen this movie with you!
CAROLINE: I know, right? When have we ever seen a feature that short?? It’s got to be a record.
RYAN: That is truly weird. I wonder why they did that.
CAROLINE: I read online, where the buzz about this movie is pretty bad, that they knew they had a stinker on their hands so they cobbled together whatever decent footage they could find, and the result was a very short movie.
RYAN: So is it really that bad?
CAROLINE: Honestly, no. It’s not phenomenal, but I didn’t hate it. I love Josh Brolin, and the makeup job they did on him is incredible. His face gets all burned and scarred in the movie, and it’s amazing how real it looks. No CGI either.
RYAN: Who plays all the bit parts you mentioned?
CAROLINE: There’s Tom Wopat, Will Arnett, Michael Shannon, Aidan Quinn and an uncredited Jeffrey Dean Morgan. It was kind of fun because I had no idea any of them was in it… so with each new scene, you’re like, “Hello, Denny. Hello, Amy Poehler’s husband.”
RYAN: I can totally get behind that cast. How’s Megan Fox?
CAROLINE: Her skin is luminous and she wears the tightest corset I’ve ever seen. I read somewhere that she has an 18 or 20-inch waist in it, which is crazy. It was almost painful to look at. But she’s only in it for about 10 or 15 minutes.
RYAN: Fine, but how’s her acting?
CAROLINE: She’s good. Good enough, anyway. She’s such a little starlet that it’s hard to watch her without being like, Wow, that’s Megan Fox. But she holds her own decently.
RYAN: I like the whole Western element that the movie seems to have. That’s an interesting take for a movie that’s based on a comic.
CAROLINE: Yeah, it takes place in the post-Civil War South, which definitely gives it an interesting historical twist. There’s also a supernatural element, which I know you always appreciate. Jonah Hex came so close to dying once that he can now commune with the dead, and the scenes where that happens are pretty cool.
RYAN: So it sounds like it’s not terrible.
CAROLINE: It was fine. Unless you’re a die hard comic fan, I don’t know that I’d tell you to run out to the theater and see it, but I didn’t hate it. Let’s be honest, it’s going to get lost in the shadow of Toy Story 3 this weekend.
— BOTTOM LINE —
CAROLINE: It’s a decent movie, with a cool twist on the typical superhero/comic movie. I love Josh Brolin, so that made the movie more enjoyable for me. And at 80 minutes, I can pretty much sit through anything. Overall, I’d say it’s for Megan Fox and Josh Brolin fans, as well as comic book nerds. For everyone else, it’s a rental.
— RATING —
