JOHN TUCKER MUST DIE

RYAN: So we just saw “John…

CAROLINE: Tucker…

RYAN: Must…

CAROLINE: …Die.”

RYAN: Mothaf—–.

CAROLINE: (laughs) Indeed. It was at my behest and it was fine and
cute and sometimes funny but not at all a must-see.

RYAN: Right. The beginning was great and it was
really creatively edited. But then the rest just kind of turned into
stock-teen-movie.

CAROLINE: I couldn’t have said it better myself. It was quite
formulaic. I really liked the lead girl, Brittany Snow. She is
adorable.

RYAN: She literally defines the term “cute as a button.” She is a
cross between Brittany Murphy and Kate Hudson and she’s so, so cute
that watching her actually leaves a sweet taste in your mouth.

CAROLINE: And I liked her mom, as portrayed by Jenny McCarthy.

RYAN: Yeah, I would have liked to see a little more of hotty McC. She’s a little stiff. She’s not a great actress by any means; but, every time she was on, I was like, “Jenny McCarthy!”

CAROLINE: She had a role to play, and that was MILF. And she played it. True, she’s not the most natural actress in the world. Speaking of which, Jesse Metcalfe anyone?

RYAN: Hot though he is, he can’t really act.

CAROLINE: In one of his opening scenes, I almost had to laugh he was so bad. He loosened up a little bit later. But his overly-waxed brows are hard to look at.

RYAN: He’s just a cute guy who was on a hit TV show for like, half a season.

CAROLINE: He’s basically famous for having a hot body.

RYAN: Basically. But I liked Ashanti, I thought she was pretty good.

CAROLINE: She was cute. She was better than I expected.

RYAN: And the other girls were all pretty good. But you know, it didn’t have the edge of “Heathers” and it just is what it is.

CAROLINE: And that is, “not a must-see.”

RYAN: I think that’s our final thought.

CAROLINE: It’s cute for a minute. It’s funny at times but overall, it is exactly what it looks like.

RYAN: Right. Between this and “Little Miss Sunshine?”

CAROLINE: Oh honey. It’s no contest.

RYAN: And – scene.