FIREWALL

RYAN: The most amazing part of the movie “Firewall” is the news that Calista Flockhart is pregnant by Harrison Ford.

CAROLINE: WHAT!?!?!

RYAN: YES!

CAROLINE: She’s, like, 45.

RYAN: She’s 41, excuse you.

CAROLINE: Oh, sorry.

RYAN: And, as everyone knows, she is the apple of my eye, “Ally McBeal.”

CAROLINE: Well now they know.

RYAN: I couldn’t be happier for the pair.

CAROLINE: Anyway. “Firewall.” A slick, Hollywood blockbuster.

RYAN: In February.

CAROLINE: Emphasis on the ‘slick,’ with possibly the worst ending I’ve ever seen in a movie.

RYAN: But before we get there… I have to say I was really looking forward to seeing this movie cos Harrison Ford… and “old-hat” Harrison Ford, back in his element and the preview was so exciting. If you saw the trailer, you know there’s a turning point in the movie where Harrison’s character defends his family and I was waiting for that through the whole movie. It was a little slow to start.

CAROLINE: I would agree with that.

RYAN: But Paul Bettany plays an outstanding bad guy.

CAROLINE: A villain. Yeah he was good.

RYAN: And he’s great as a good guy. Remember him in that tennis movie “Wimbledon?”

CAROLINE: I think you’re the only person who saw that.

RYAN: But he was so endearing in it.

CAROLINE: He was in “A Beautiful Mind” too and he was great.

RYAN: He’s versatile.

CAROLINE: I thought the acting was fine. “Firewall” was fine. I enjoyed it. It’s fast. It definitely kept me on the edge of my seat a couple times. I just kept thinking “This is so slick, formulaic, Hollywood…”

RYAN: It was definitely a little predictable. And kind of cheesy in parts, but overall, the entertainment factor, considering our options at the theater this week…

CAROLINE: You could do a lot worse.

RYAN: It’s pretty good. Virginia Madsen lookin’ pretty good.

CAROLINE: She looked great.

RYAN: I think it’s after you’re nominated for an Oscar, you get access to the elite skincare professionals in Hollywood. She’s looked increasingly better since she was nominated for “Sideways.”

CAROLINE: And she looks quite slender.

RYAN: Yeah.

CAROLINE: Except, that little monkey-boy as their kid. OMG. He drove me up the wall! Why did his hair look like Chaka the monkey-boy?

RYAN: (laughs) I don’t know, to be sure. I totally agree with you. He didn’t fit with the family. We’ve got hot Indiana Jones, sexpot, wine-wise, Sideways Mama, adorable teen, Ice Princess daughter…

CAROLINE: And then Chaka, the monkey-boy.

RYAN: One of these things doesn’t fit with the other.

CAROLINE: No. That wasn’t good. And can we talk about the end now? I’m mainly speaking of the last ten seconds of the film which I shant give away.

RYAN: Right. There were some loose ends.

CAROLINE: It smelled to me like this was a movie that may have been longer at one point and just kept going on and on and they didn’t know what to do so they just decided to end it.

RYAN: That could be. It was abrupt. But still… C’mon. It was not the horrid ending that “Cache” has.

CAROLINE: No…

RYAN: That was way worse.

CAROLINE: Yes, but you made me leave the theater early so we missed…

RYAN: Wait. We left halfway through the credits. And as any of our readers would support me, most of us leave the theater while the credits are rolling. And the movie wasn’t good enough where we even wanted to stay and watch the credits.

CAROLINE: No. I know. You’re right.

RYAN: But this is not “Cache.” This is “Firewall.” Read “Cache” below.

CAROLINE: Final thought?

RYAN: Fun, Ford, February fare.

CAROLINE: Nice alliteration!

RYAN: Thanks. Look… You know what you’re going in for when you see this movie. We’ve seen Harrison Ford do it 40 times before and here it is again and just as enjoyable.

CAROLINE: I will say, I read he did all his own stunts. And there are a couple rough fight scenes in there.

RYAN: Grandpa Ford. Holdin’ his own.

CAROLINE: Yes. He’s doin’ ok. And apparently his ‘boys’ are still swimming pretty well, if you know what I mean.

RYAN: Exactly.

CAROLINE: My final thought is it was enjoyable action, predictable; but, some fun moments and given that there’s not a lot to see right now, if you’re up on the Oscar contenders… this is not a bad option.

RYAN: And wishing you a healthy, happy baby, Calista. Your support of Harrison made this movie brilliant!

CAROLINE: (laughs)