FAILURE TO LAUNCH

RYAN: We’re at the 34th Street AMC Theater and it was actually okay today.

CAROLINE: Yes. The escalators were actually working.

RYAN: For a change.

CAROLINE: And we saw a movie called “Failure to Launch.”

RYAN: But before we get to it, we have to make a couple trailer comments; beginning with, and with all due respect and sensitivity to 9/11, we don’t need to see those trailers anymore.

CAROLINE: No. In fact, it’s because of my sensitivity to 9/11 that I don’t need to see that trailer for “Flight 93.” Must we see it again? It isn’t even that dramatic or well-edited.

RYAN: I know. It’s not even a decent trailer!

CAROLINE: I’m tired of it. I’ve seen it 18 times.

RYAN: And the other thing is, excuse me, but when did Starbucks start making movies? One trailer began with a graphic that said “Starbucks Entertainment Presents…” Apparently Starbucks is now producing films.

CAROLINE: Starbucks rules the world. The sooner you accept that, the better your life will be!

RYAN: Starbucks is on a mission. It’s permeating every industry. Torture! So anyway, what movie did we see again?

CAROLINE: “Failure to Launch.” With Matt McConaughoo and Sarah Jessica Perkier.

RYAN: And whatcha think?

CAROLINE: Eh…

RYAN: (gasps) Really!?!? I enjoyed it.

CAROLINE: I started out enjoying it. And then when someone got bit by an animal for the fourth time… I was a little bit over it.

RYAN: Oh, okay – the schlocky, Ben Stiller humor.

CAROLINE: There were a couple moments that were literally so predictable I actually called them out to you before they happened.

RYAN: Indeed you did.

CAROLINE: Matthew McConaughey’s always likable. He has this character down. He’s done it several times. Sarah Jessica’s cute. Zooey Deschanel is hilarious. I kind of started to like her subplot better.

RYAN: I can’t get my jones on for Zooey Deschanel. I saw some raw footage of her in an interview once and…

CAROLINE: She’s a moron?

RYAN: The biggest moron. She’s very dumb… but her scenes turn out well. She’s a pretty decent actress. I really did like the whole cast in this film. And everyone in this movie has the most beautiful, clear blue eyes.

CAROLINE: Yes!

RYAN: The three guy friends were all cute. And just everyone’s eyes!

CAROLINE: Yeah, they were cute. And I felt like I liked the movie for a good portion, and then towards the end I just began to lose interest. It got a little cheesy.

RYAN: I loved SJP’s character. I thought it was fun seeing her play that type again. There was a little Carrie in there. But the one thing is, and we heard it enough in “Sex and the City,” and, like, three times in this film – that scream.

CAROLINE: She looooves to scream. Like, “Ahhh,” I can’t even do it, high, high shrieks. I kinda think it’s cute.

RYAN: It’s cute and it’s her: but, who do you know that screams like that in real life? You don’t scream like that.

CAROLINE: No. No one does. It’s cutesy and girly.

RYAN: I adore her and she’s great in this.

CAROLINE: She looks a lot better in this than she does in the movie poster, I’ll tell you that.

RYAN: True! Now one thing that surprised me is that the fashion was not memorable.

CAROLINE: No. But the scenery was gorgeous when they’re boating and stuff.

RYAN: Yes. But remember that one scene where Matthew compliments her shoes and we don’t even get to see them?

CAROLINE: Yeah. That was annoying.

RYAN: We like SJP and her shoes. Kathy Bates and whoever played her husband…

CAROLINE: Terry Bradshaw, a famous football player.

RYAN: Oh right.

CAROLINE: They had nothing to do. But Terry did show his ass.

RYAN: Which was something we could have done without, mind you. This movie did open number one at the box office with weekend with $24.6 million, a pretty strong showing. Final thought?

CAROLINE: It’s cute. I wouldn’t say don’t see it. It’s fine. If you’re a chick, like me, and you enjoy movies like this, you’ll probably enjoy it up to a point. Overall, a little disappointing.

RYAN: Overall, I’m going with the “entertainment litmus test.” I was entertained. I had fun. If you’re a gay, like me, you’ll like it. If you like romantic comedies, you’ll like it. It’s a little more comedy than romantic though.

CAROLINE: A little bit unrealistic, just a touch.

RYAN: Just a touch, but fun.