ECHELON CONSPIRACY

RYAN: “Echelon Conspiracy” is a new movie that opened last weekend in limited release and did not screen for critics.

CAROLINE: I didn’t even know this movie existed until after receiving a text from you that you’d just seen it.

RYAN: I’d seen a poster for it around the streets of NYC a few weeks back and was curious since I’m familiar with Project Echelon in America.

CAROLINE: What is that?

RYAN: It’s basically an all-encompassing monitoring system, sort of like Big Brother, that tracks all communication in any and every form. We’re all under way more surveillance than any of us realize.

CAROLINE: I wouldn’t be surprised if something’s going on that we’re not all aware of, under the guise of national security.

RYAN: Exactly. So I thought an action thriller based on the concept could be smart – plus it stars Edward Burns with Jonathan Pryce, Martin Sheen, Ving Rhames, and Shane West of TV’s ER.

CAROLINE: Ooh I love Jonathan Pryce! How was the movie?

RYAN: Dreadful.

CAROLINE: Oh honey, please don’t sugarcoat it.

RYAN: It is the worst movie I’ve seen since Lindsay Lohan’s abysmal “I Know Who Killed Me,” which is one of the worst movies in history.

CAROLINE: It was that bad?

RYAN: Pretty much.

CAROLINE: Why?

RYAN: It was just so stupid. It was predictable and poorly acted, directed, everything. It’s almost like you don’t realize what a bad script is until after you see this movie and then it’s the most obvious example the world could provide.

CAROLINE: Ouch.

RYAN: Seriously, it’s just an horrendous film. Like, four people walked out in the middle and I even contemplated it.

CAROLINE: Maybe you should have.

RYAN: Well I was there with our pal, Cosmo, and we got to a point where we stopped really paying attention and just talked and made fun of how ridiculous it is.

CAROLINE: [laughs’ It really sounds like there was nothing redeeming about it.

— BOTTOM LINE —

RYAN: As if.

— RATING —