EASTERN PROMISES

RYAN: Marking the re-teaming of Viggo Mortensen and director David Cronenberg from “The History of Violence” is the new film “Eastern Promises.”

CAROLINE: I’m a little bit mixed on this movie. I thought it was very well done and well acted, but I didn’t love it. I liked it though.

RYAN: We saw it at a critics’ screening, and we heard people on the way out saying, “Finally, a good movie!” I liked it. I really think David Cronenberg is an artist. His films look great and move wonderfully and even though there’s often blood and violence, it’s artistic in a way.

CAROLINE: I don’t have complaints about this movie from a cinematic point of view; I just never truly got into the story like I thought I would. Viggo is phenomenal, but Naomi Watts is only decent. I just didn’t feel that much from her. But not as much was asked of her in this role.

RYAN: Yeah, Nicole Kidman Lite was a little bit flat. I liked her back-story, but there wasn’t that much to her role. She did what she needed to do, but I would have liked to see her get a little more emotional.

CAROLINE: She looked cute in her Seven jeans, motorcycle boots and helmet, I’ll give her that much.

RYAN: Viggo has a full frontal scene in this movie, but you don’t get to see that well since it happens during a major fight scene.

CAROLINE: He’s bloody and battered and knifed, but his junk is flapping around through it all.

RYAN: He has oddly placed nipples; they’re high and to the side.

CAROLINE: [laughs’ I can’t say I noticed, but I’m so glad that your powers of observation were in full effect.

RYAN: They’re just not in the place they’re usually in on a man’s body. I almost leaned over and said something to you, but I didn’t want to ruin the moment.

CAROLINE: I love the guy who plays Kirill, Vincent Kassel. He was in “Derailed” and he’s so creepy and good. And he’s sexy ugly.

RYAN: If he weren’t an actor, I wouldn’t think he was hot. But he plays such interesting roles that it makes him sexy.

CAROLINE: There’s a whole Russian mob angle in this movie, and a prostitution ring…it just never really spoke to me. I couldn’t relate.

RYAN: Everyone’s Russian accent is really good though. And I loved the narration by the Russian girl.

CAROLINE: Don’t get me wrong – I thought it was a good movie overall, I just couldn’t get fully involved. It very much has the vibe of “Dirty Pretty Things” since it was written by the same guy. To me, both films are empirically good, I just didn’t love love love them.

RYAN: Bottom line?

CAROLINE: I wouldn’t say that you have to rush out and see this on the big screen. But if you’re a big Viggo fan, you won’t be disappointed.

RYAN: It’s a great achievement in film for sure. The performances are really good and it’s an interesting story. I don’t know that I loved it either, but it’s well made and I certainly enjoyed it. I liked “The History of Violence” better though; this movie is more of a slow burn.

CAROLINE: And watch out for some seriously disturbing goriness in the bathhouse scene.