COLD LIGHT OF DAY

RYAN: This is one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen.

CAROLINE: I’m sorry.  Can you repeat that?

RYAN: Yes.  This movie was painful.

CAROLINE: How is that possible?!  It’s with Bruce Willis and Sigourney Weaver.

RYAN: They embarrass themselves in this movie.  It’s schlock filmmaking.

CAROLINE: Wow.

RYAN: It’s, like, a spoof of an action movie.  But it’s supposed to be a real action film and just fails miserably at every level.

CAROLINE: What about Henry Cavill?

RYAN: He’s the new Superman in next year’s Man of Steel but I have the feeling had the casting director seen this movie he’d never have gotten that big break. He’s absolutely terrible.  His facial expressions and physicality are inappropriate and laughable.

CAROLINE: Gawd.  This is crazy.  I’m so glad I didn’t waste my time on this one.

RYAN: Bruce is mildly ok but even Sigourney gives a rotten performance.  It’s like a joke.  I wanted to wake up during this, or walk out… but it’s just such a train wreck I couldn’t tear myself away.

CAROLINE: I can’t even.

RYAN: The action is overly choreographed and looks fake.  They’re all overacting. The score is obnoxious.  The lighting is so bad in some scenes it’s like you’re just sitting in the dark.

CAROLINE: [laughs’ Ok enough already.  This really does sound like one of the worst films in history.

RYAN: Uh, yeah.

— RATING —