THE DA VINCI CODE
RYAN: Welcome back to weseemovies.com after our brief, albeit necessary hiatus.
CAROLINE: Sojourn?
RYAN: Sojourn into the great abyss. It was great to get my big fat lazy ass back into the seat of a dark movie theater.
CAROLINE: Yeah, well some of us went to California and still kept up our weseemovies duties, and others of us stayed in New York and didn’t. But I digress.
RYAN: We decided long ago that when “The Da Vinci Code” was being made into a film and I was a third into the book, that I would not finish reading it. And you had read it so that when it was time to blog it, we would have different perspectives of someone who had read the book and someone who hadn’t.
CAROLINE: Right, but here’s the news. I read the book and promptly forgot many details because I read it two years ago, and there’s a semi-huge twisty moment that I had completely forgotten, so I gasped as if it were the first time I had ever seen it.
RYAN: Ooh, that’s good! I dug the twists.
CAROLINE: My number one opinion about this movie is that Ian McKellan should be nominated for an Academy Award.
RYAN: That is an interesting opinion!
CAROLINE: He should be nominated for “Best Supporting Actor in a Movie.”
RYAN: I have to tell you that he gave a fantastic performance for an out gay man.
CAROLINE: Yes, he’s very out and he likes the young boys.
RYAN: He’s good and wow! He is a man who does not Botox!
CAROLINE: He’s wrinkly and proud of it.
RYAN: He’s like a California Raisin… on a stick… with white hair.
CAROLINE: And yet the young guys just love him. Or maybe because of his money.
RYAN: ‘Cos he’s famous.
CAROLINE: That too.
RYAN: And I gotta tell you, I thought Tom Hanks was smokin’.
CAROLINE: Oh my God – I listened to the hype, thought the hair was ridiculous myself and then saw the movie and did a 180. He looked fantastic!
RYAN: Though this is not my favorite Tom Hanks movie, for some reason this might be my favorite Tom Hanks movie.
CAROLINE: Really?
RYAN: Yeah! I just loved him in it. As someone who didn’t read the book and someone who couldn’t visualize that he was supposed to be younger, because I’ve heard that a lot, I looked at him and thought, “Robert Langdon – you look good.”
CAROLINE: He looked fab. I think he went to the gym a little bit.
RYAN: He was thin!
CAROLINE: He went to the gym and got it together for this movie.
RYAN: I’ve never been attracted to him, he’s always been nerdy-cute. But he was attractive in this movie.
CAROLINE: He looked great. And despite all the critical panning, I enjoyed this film.
RYAN: I loved this film. Now to the controversy – although it’s fiction, I understand why it’s controversial because of the point that the Catholic Church is capable of being power hungry and potentially covering up secrets of the past – that’s what’s controversial, not that there’s a blood line of Jesus.
CAROLINE: Well, that’s part of it too.
RYAN: I was riveted.
CAROLINE: Here’s the news. If anyone’s read the book, it’s exciting from page one. I’m not gonna tell you that it was the best piece of literature ever written, but I will tell you that it’s a page turner. So when you see the movie, it’s the same way. Very exciting and I was on the edge of my seat.
RYAN: Me too.
CAROLINE: Who has skinnier toothpick legs than Audrey Tatou?
RYAN: Hmm. No one?
CAROLINE: Correct.
RYAN: Hello, we should totally be talking about Paul Bettany as the albino. How hot is his tush?
CAROLINE: I wasn’t really looking.
RYAN: Don’t miss it, ladies and gays – in the first five minutes of the film, Paul Bettany’s highney as he’s torturing himself. Oooh!
CAROLINE: The flagellating, yes. I guess so.
RYAN: He’s in good shape for a self-mutilating man. He was really good. He was chillingly frightening and bad guy. Final thought?
CAROLINE: The ending is a little cheesy, it strayed a little from the book. I was Ok with it. It’s not a perfect movie start to finish but overall it’s enjoyable. Edge of your seat exciting and some really nice acting. And I thought for Ron Howard, all told, he had some fun angles and cool shots and some good directing going on.
RYAN: I agree and I congratulate Ron Howard on the achievement of “The Da Vinci Code.” It’s a large ship to helm, just like Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings. A film based on one of the best-selling books of all time is an arduous task.
CAROLINE: Absolument.
RYAN: And walk on, Ron Howard.
CAROLINE: That’s what U2 says.
RYAN: I really enjoyed this film, I would watch it again but I could easily cut out 15-20 minutes. And they would be scenes one through all of Alfred Molina’s scenes.
CAROLINE: He was useless!!
RYAN: Looking back at the film, I would have gotten the entire story line without any of his scenes.
CAROLINE: Yeah, there was not one point at which I was like, “Thank God this Alfred Molina stuff is clarifying things.” It did not mean a thing to me.
RYAN: And his scenes were long, there was like a six minute scene of him talking to some Opus Dei people. 15-20 minutes could be lost from the film because of him. And we don’t need him in another blockbuster, he already made “Spiderman 2!”
CAROLINE: I agree. But don’t believe the hype, this is a fun movie.