I AM LOVE

CAROLINE: The Tilda Swinton movie I Am Love came out about a month ago, but I just got to see it recently. I was so psyched for it since I’d heard nothing but raves about it and I have two friends who adored it.

RYAN: I’ve heard great things too. How was it?

CAROLINE: Eh. I so don’t get what all the buzz is about.

RYAN: Really? I’m surprised. You usually like artsy movies. And isn’t this one in Italian?

CAROLINE: Yes, and Tilda is great. My friend raved about the sick house they live in, and how brooding and arty it all is. And it’s all true; I just found it boring.

RYAN: But Tilda’s still amazing?

CAROLINE: Totally. She gives a great performance. She covers a range of emotions from the highest highs to the lowest lows. Also, I’ve never seen a woman look more beautiful and more ugly within the same film.

RYAN: Wow. So what didn’t you like?

CAROLINE: Basically, everything else. OK no, but the only good part of the movie was the last 20 minutes. I was so bored for the first hour and twenty. Nothing happened. I thought I must be seeing a different movie than my friends had.

RYAN: Ugh. There’s nothing worse than those slow, arty movies where nothing happens.

CAROLINE: Yeah, I think you would have been miserable too. I saw it with my friend Jenny and we were both looking at each other like, “When is something going to happen in this movie?” It’s about a very rich Italian family and an adulterous affair and lots of other stuff, but it never got off the ground.

RYAN: Well, it certainly sounds like there’s a lot going on.

CAROLINE: You would think so, but there really isn’t. It’s just brooding and slow, with lots of arty shots. Like when one couple is having sex in the grass, they keep interspersing the scene with shots of flowers and bees pollinating them. I was like, “OK, we get it!” But then something shocking happens in the last 20 minutes, and the movie finally gets interesting.

RYAN: Don’t ruin anything. Maybe I’ll rent it someday.

CAROLINE: Yeah, you could. The end is cool, and Tilda’s acting is phenom. Everyone in the cast is pretty good actually, so I’d say the best thing about it is the acting. Other than that, I was seriously underwhelmed.

— BOTTOM LINE —

CAROLINE: This is an artsy, foreign film that isn’t for everyone. Movie buffs will want to see it, but I was disappointed. I wanted more story. Tilda’s performance probably makes the movie worthwhile, but sadly, it mostly just bored me.

— RATING —