FROM PARIS WITH LOVE

RYAN: From Paris with Love sounds much more like a Meg Ryan rom-com than the obnoxious action movie it actually is.

CAROLINE: Yeah it kinda does. I skipped it. What did you think of it?

RYAN: OMG I hated it!

CAROLINE: Why?

RYAN: Everything.

CAROLINE: How are the stars John and Jonathan?

RYAN: You know I love Le Travolta but he’s completely pathetic in this.

CAROLINE: You sound like Simon Cowell.

RYAN: [laughs’ Well if the shoe fits. John is like a caricature of himself in this movie. He looks like a cross between John Travolta and Mr. Clean. And he’s constantly mugging for the camera. He even literally pays homage to *himself* in Pulp Fiction.

CAROLINE: Ouch. That is rather obnoxious.

RYAN: Some critics giggled. I vomited a little in my mouth.

CAROLINE: And what about Jonathan? Is he lookin’ cute in this?

RYAN: Not as per usual, but he’s fine. He does a pretty decent American accent but his role is so lame and wishy-washy. This movie was awful.

CAROLINE: What about the action scenes?

RYAN: Maybe that’s the problem – it’s just a bunch of boring action scenes. There’s, like, no plot in this movie. No. There is a plot but it’s so loose and you don’t really get a hint of it until the last half hour and by then you’re completely checked out. I kept trying to fall asleep during it.

CAROLINE: [laughs’ Really? Why didn’t you?

RYAN: Actually, I continuously considered walking out of it – it’s that bad… but I recently walked out of that Jackie Chan movie screening so I felt compelled to stay in this one. It’s only an hour and a half but I still wanted to leave early.

CAROLINE: This sounds like a travesty of a film.

— BOTTOM LINE —

RYAN: There was but one tiny moment near the end of the movie when something happens that makes you perk up but the rest of it is so stupid and boring; poorly written, directed… what’s the point? It shoulda been a direct to DVD flick.

— RATING —