THE LOSS OF A TEARDROP DIAMOND

CAROLINE: You had to view “The Loss of a Teardrop Diamond” without me because I was otherwise engaged. So what’s the DL on it?

RYAN: The title about sums it up.

CAROLINE: Shut up. That’s all that happens?

RYAN: Basically. Someone loses a freaking earring and that’s about the drama in this fine film.

CAROLINE: [laughs’ What the hell?

RYAN: Well the screenplay was recently discovered as an old, lost script from Tennessee Williams and let’s just say they all can’t be “A Streetcar Named Desire.”

CAROLINE: I’m sure not. Isn’t Bryce Dallas Howard in this? I like her.

RYAN: I like her too, a lot. But she’s so puffy in this – she had to be pregnant whilst filming; and doing her best Scarlett O’Hara impression but I never bought it for a moment.

CAROLINE: It’s a period film. How are the costumes?

RYAN: Fine but nothing astounding. I do have to mention two standout performances though.

CAROLINE: By all means.

RYAN: Ann-Margret and Ellen Burstyn are both fab.

CAROLINE: And old.

RYAN: True – but goodie in this. Chris Evans is the love interest and Mamie Gummer is also in it.

CAROLINE: …wonder how she got in the biz?

RYAN: [laughs’ Meryl Streep’s daughter, exactly. We’ve only ever seen her in such passive roles. Will someone please give her some acting to do so we can see if she’s inherited a shred of Meryl? We now know Kate Hudson can shake her tail like Goldie so let’s give Mamie a chance.

CAROLINE: Touche.

— BOTTOM LINE —

RYAN: It’s a sweet, short, almost endearing film that takes place in a time of impossible naivete. I appreciated some scene but it was overall quite dull and really not worth it.

— RATING —