MISS MARCH

CAROLINE: How dare you force me to attend the advanced screening of “Miss March”? It was one of the worst pieces of crap I’ve ever been forced to suffer through.

RYAN: If I remember correctly, after seeing the trailer I said to you, “I don’t think it looks that bad. You certainly don’t have to go with me, but if you’re free, why not?”

CAROLINE: Puh-leez. Here’s what actually happened: you made me watch the trailer, I told you I thought it looked awful, you said you thought it looked funny and told me that since I wasn’t able to attend any other screenings last week, the least I could do was go to this one. You guilted me into going despite my warning that it was going to be hideously bad, and guess what happened? We actually walked out of the movie after an hour.

RYAN: OK, what do you want me to say? Once again, you’re right.

CAROLINE: Thank you. I looked at you as the lights dimmed, and I said, “If this thing sucks, we’re outta here.” And outta there we were. We saw more than half the movie but honestly, it’s not even worth that much of your time.

RYAN: This is the first movie we’ve ever actually walked out of.

CAROLINE: True, but we knew going in – or at least, I did – that it was potentially walk out-worthy. It’s not like we sat down expecting some great film and then were so disappointed that we had to leave.

RYAN: I couldn’t believe how bad it was. One of the worst movies I’ve seen in a long time.

CAROLINE: It makes the “Harold and Kumar” franchise seem Oscar worthy.

RYAN: There were so many things wrong with it. For starters, it’s not the kind of humor we like. Lots of diarrhea jokes and lowest common denominator humor. The acting and the writing were terrible, and it’s offensive and misogynistic to boot.

CAROLINE: It’s trying to be a funny teen gross-out comedy, but it’s just so lame. The two lead guys are way to old to be playing high school students.

RYAN: And they’re not even cute.

CAROLINE: They’re part of some comedy team called “The Whitest Kids U Know” and only one of them can act a tiny bit. The other one was atrocious. I was like, “You have no business being on camera.”

RYAN: He was trying to be Jim Carrey but failing miserably. I so didn’t care about this movie. We love comedies and aren’t opposed to poop jokes and sex jokes when they’re funny; but this movie was just ridonk-a-donk.

CAROLINE: It’s silly and barely worth mentioning. I can’t believe we’ve even talked about it this long.

RYAN: Then let’s stop.

— BOTTOM LINE —

RYAN: Skip it at all costs.

CAROLINE: Seriously, don’t even think about seeing this movie.

— RATING —