MISS POTTER
CAROLINE: Ryan, I want to say, “Thank you.”
RYAN: You’re welcome.
CAROLINE: For seeing “Miss Potter” without me.
RYAN: Really?
CAROLINE: I just couldn’t bear to look at Renee Zellweger’s puffy face for ninety minutes.
RYAN: And puffy it was. But it didn’t stop me from seeing the movie. Wild horses couldn’t stop me from seeing a movie with Ewan McGregor on the big screen, because I’m in love with him.
CAROLINE: He’s to you as Clive Owen is to me.
RYAN: And he sings in this movie in a very “Moulin Rouge”-esque moment which makes the entire experience that much more worth it. And overall, I really think you’d like this movie.
CAROLINE: I’m not gonna see it in the theater though.
RYAN: No, you could definitely wait to rent it when it comes out on DVD. But it’s a great romantic story and it’s beautifully shot.
CAROLINE: And how was Renee and her accent?
RYAN: Oh my God. She was fine but her accent was so bad. Here’s the thing – her British accent flies when she’s playing Bridget Jones, but when she’s playing an historic woman, it sounds ridiculous. She’s such an American doing a British accent, especially when she’s playing against Emily Watson, who’s brilliant and deserves a nomination much more than Renee does.
CAROLINE: So Renee can’t hold her own?
RYAN: It’s laughable. She sounds like Bridget Jones and you’re like, “Stop it, Bridget! You should sound like Beatrix Potter.”
CAROLINE: Does she remain free of make-up for the entire film?
RYAN: Yes, for the entire film. And it’s especially difficult during the times where she’s sad in the film, because she looks even worse.
CAROLINE: Poor, puffy Renee.
RYAN: She’s not a pretty girl.
CAROLINE: She never has been.
RYAN: She has squinty eyes and chipmunk cheeks, and from what I remember from the one time I interviewed her, she’s a betch.
CAROLINE: That’s unacceptable.
RYAN: So it’s hard to watch her; but overall, a good film transcends a bitchy attitude. So my bottom line is that I enjoyed “Miss Potter.” It was a mature, romantic, interesting story. …And Ewan’s hot.
CAROLINE: Fair enough. I’m not going to race to the theater to see it, but I always enjoy a good love story.