SNOW ANGELS

RYAN: I had originally wanted to see “Snow Angels” with you, but now I have a feeling I’m going to be happy that I didn’t.

CAROLINE: OMG it was practically the most depressing movie I’ve ever seen. And that can be OK if you’re in the mood and ready for a cry. But “Snow Angels” just seems to be depressing for depressing’s sake.

RYAN: Did you cry during it?

CAROLINE: Actually, no. That was the weird thing. I was so emotionally uninvolved that I couldn’t muster up even one tear.

RYAN: I’m sure I don’t know what to say. Were the performances good at least?

CAROLINE: It’s got a great cast, so I was expecting a lot: Kate Beckinsale, Sam Rockwell, Amy Sedaris and Nicky Katt, that guy we loved in “The Brave One” who played Terrence Howard’s partner. Oh, and the cute kid who played Jack’s son on “Will & Grace.” He’s fully pubertized now and his love interest in the movie is Olivia Thirlby who we know as Juno’s BFF in “Juno.”

RYAN: That is a power cast. Based on that alone, I’d totally want to see this movie.

CAROLINE: Right? But it’s over-the-top dramatic with everything from murder to suicide to a missing child, and it’s just unpleasant all around. All I could think was, “Why would anyone want to see this movie?” Last year’s “Reservation Road” was equally depressing with a hit-and-run car accident, but it had some interesting plot twists and I felt a lot more sympathy for the characters. In this movie, most of the characters are loathsome.

RYAN: So it’s totally not worth the money to see it in the theater. Maybe I’ll catch it on TV sometime.

CAROLINE: I wouldn’t even recommend that.

RYAN: Really? Wow.

CAROLINE: There’s no need to see this movie.

RYAN: It has zero redeeming entertainment value?

CAROLINE: Only if you really love one of the actors in it.

RYAN: Bottom line?

CAROLINE: Skip it, big time.