Oscars 2008 Review

RYAN: What an underwhelming evening at Oscars #80! I feel like we just got a whole lotta nothing.

CAROLINE: There were individual moments that I really liked, but as a whole it was definitely weak.

RYAN: I miss the pizzazz. There was no show. Aside from Kristin Chenoweth.

CAROLINE: I must say, she was great and she looked great on the red carpet. Howe’er, my best dressed for the evening was Jenny Garner who looked absolutely stunning.

RYAN: She really did. And kudos to her for breaking the code red that was in full effect tonight.

CAROLINE: But you have to admit the girls in red did look amazing, especially Heidi Klum and Katherine Heigl.

RYAN: My vote for best red is for Anne Hathaway. But my overall best dressed is Laura Linney.

CAROLINE: I love that our two best dressed were the ones accosted by Gary Busey on the red carpet. That will truly go down in history as one of the most awkward televised moments ever.

RYAN: He’s an arse. But Daniel Day-Lewis and that brown stripe on his jacket were absolutely divine.

CAROLINE: I didn’t notice what he was wearing ‘cuz he’s a man. What about worst dressed?

RYAN: Do we even need to go there? J. Hud.

CAROLINE: Oh. My. God. Could she have any more Oscar mishaps? Her boobs looked like lethal weapons. It was appalling. And sadly, although I thought her face looked beautiful, I could not get behind what Marion Cotillard was wearing.

RYAN: Honey, get to know your Gaultier!

CAROLINE: I know. It was just too mermaid-y for me.

RYAN: Fair enough. But my happiest moment of the night, next to having Amy Adams and Kristin Chenoweth in the same room, is the justice I felt when Marion won Best Actress. That was the most deserved award of the night.

CAROLINE: I couldn’t agree more. Other than that slight surprise – ‘cuz I thought Julie Christie might win – there were really no big surprises tonight.

RYAN: I’m just a little disappointed, but not surprised, that “No Country for Old Men” took top honors over “There Will Be Blood.” Plus I was pulling a little more for Amy Ryan than that black sheet-wearing Tilda Swinton in the Best Supporting Actress category.

CAROLINE: She is an odd bird, that Tilda.

RYAN: She looks like an actual bird.

CAROLINE: Her face has no pigment, and she certainly didn’t help herself with the use of makeup. Her hair is so dyed red that she looks like Ron Howard’s eccentric aunt. Plus she said on the red carpet that not only had she never attended the Oscars, she’d never even watched them on TV.

RYAN: Whatever. To “C” what word I would use to describe her, go see “Atonement.”

CAROLINE: That’s a little harsh. She’s just weird like Bjork.

RYAN: I don’t care. I feel like being mean. And while I’m at it, who knew that Wilma Flintstone was based on a real person until “Juno” won for Best Screenplay? Diablo Cody looked downright prehistoric.

CAROLINE: OMG! I could practically see her vajayjay! Her dress was cut so high. Don’t forget, she’s a former stripper.

RYAN: I think she’s a current stripper.

CAROLINE: BTW can I ask why the hell Jessica Alba was there?

RYAN: She was presenting.

CAROLINE: Yes, but why Jessica Alba? Is it honestly because of her fine body of work?

RYAN: I think we’ve already established that the only reason she’s famous is that she has a fine body.

CAROLINE: [laughs’ Ok… let’s analyze Jon Stewart. I thought he was dull. And what was with all the montages?

RYAN: Overall, the show was simple, classy and straightforward, but I would have appreciated a little bit more “show.” It just didn’t feel like that much of an event. I feel like they all got dressed up for nothing.

CAROLINE: I think the show really took a hit from the writers’ strike. I guess Jon and his boys didn’t have enough time to write a truly funny show. It was so uneventful that even Miley Ray Cyrus was there.

RYAN: Introducing Kristin Chenoweth no less.

CAROLINE: Nothing even made me laugh that hard this year. Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill were lame. They couldn’t remotely compare to Jack Black and Will Ferrell in the past.

RYAN: LBH, overall, the show wasn’t that entertaining. It was a simple handing out of awards mixed together with many a montage, and a little Kristin Chenoweth on top.

CAROLINE: She was great, but I was so thrilled that the kids from “Once” won Best Song.

RYAN: I’m sure you were. I was holding out for “Wicked” writer Stephen Schwartz.

CAROLINE: So even though it’s fun to watch and we wouldn’t miss it, this year’s Oscars were pretty anticlimactic, and I bet it’ll be reflected in the ratings.

RYAN: If there’s any justice in the world, you’re right.

CAROLINE: Here’s a list of winners in the big categories: