THE GOOD GERMAN
CAROLINE: Zzzzzzzzzzz.
RYAN: Honey, wake up. The movie’s over.
CAROLINE: Oh sorry. I fell asleep whilst counting the minutes till this movie ended.
RYAN: Yeah, “The Good German” was my favorite movie of the year.
CAROLINE: Ha!!
RYAN: Just kidding.
CAROLINE: Thank God we got to see this at a free screening.
RYAN: And we were joined by our good friend, the ever-irascible Cosmo. And he really enjoyed this film for the first three-quarters and then finally turned a corner and was like, “This is the worst piece of film I’ve ever seen.”
CAROLINE: I can’t believe he liked it for as long as he did.
RYAN: I have to admit, as anyone who knows me knows, I’m not a fan of George Clooney. And Steven Soderbergh has always been one of my least favorite directors. So it was a little hard for me, going in, to like this movie. What it did have for me though… is Cate Blanchett. I’m the kind of fan of hers who will see anything she’s in.
CAROLINE: Except “Babel,” evidently.
RYAN: Hey I finally saw it and loved it! And Cate, for the record, is gorgeous in “The Good German” and has a flawless German accent. She’s the reigning queen of all dialects.
CAROLINE: She does look great in this movie, and she’s a brunette and it looks great in the black and white oeuvre. However, I can think not of one other good thing to say about this film.
RYAN: I liked how Tobey Maguire played his role; refreshing.
CAROLINE: I liked that he wasn’t in the movie for very long.
RYAN: He has no lips.
CAROLINE: [laughs’ Yes, he’s a thin-lipped man. Within the first five minutes of the movie, I realized, “Oh my God, this is just another George Clooney/Steven Soderbergh vanity project, and I’m sick of it.” Then I took a nap.
RYAN: And you drooled on my sleeve.
CAROLINE: (chuckles) I did not!
RYAN: Ok. But “The Good German” is this year’s “Good Night and Good Luck,” which they collaborated on last year. And if you look at our review of that movie, I think everything we said about that film, we also feel about this film.
CAROLINE: Totally. Black and white. Slow. Boring. Didn’t care about any of the characters. Was literally waiting for it to end.
RYAN: Yeah, it was really just… tedious.
CAROLINE: Well put. And the fact that this is being released during the holiday season leads me to believe that George and Steven actually think this movie is an Oscar contender, and now I’m nervous, like, “Ugh, what if it is?”
RYAN: If it is, like “Good Night and G’Luck” was last year, as much as we hated it, then I won’t know what to do. If you like movies, I don’t see how you could enjoy this film. In fact, instead of seeing this film, you should see “The Holiday” for the second time.
CAROLINE: I think I might.