THE DEPARTED

CAROLINE: Well, we’ve just seen the first film that will be nominated for the Academy Award for Best Picture.

RYAN: I was just gonna say, the race is on. Let the games begin! “The Departed” is outstanding.

CAROLINE: It’s unbelievable and contrary to our usual beliefs about film length – clocking in at two and a half hours, this film is never boring.

RYAN: Exactly. It’s too long but never boring. And it’s not too long in an annoying way. I actually leaned forward in my chair through most of the movie because I was so into it.

CAROLINE: It was a tense movie-going experience, and you sort of feel sick and your stomach’s in knots. But the performances are so amazing that I wouldn’t be surprised if at least two of the guys get nominated.

RYAN: I think there will be several nominations for this film – Picture, Director and definitely for acting. Jack Nicholson and Leonardo DiCaprio, who – let’s go there right now – for the first time in my life, I find him attractive.

CAROLINE: I’ll say it – he looked hot in this movie, and I think it’s because he’s finally showing a little bit of age. He still has the boyish face but he’s starting to get a couple creases and it really works for him.

RYAN: Clearly, you and I are both attracted to men, not boys. And he has matured to the point where he’s smokin’ hot.

CAROLINE: And his performance is unbelievable and if he’s not nominated for at least Supporting Actor, I’ll be angry. There are several possible male leads in this film though, so I’m not sure what category he’d be in.

RYAN: We both enjoyed him very much in “The Aviator,” for which he was nominated, but this was it.

CAROLINE: Yeah, this was huge. I mean, I have mixed feelings about some of the Scorsese films I’ve seen in recent years but I don’t see how you couldn’t like this movie.

RYAN: This movie blows “Gangs of New York” out of the water.

CAROLINE: I didn’t even see that s—t.

RYAN: Well that was a mistake. You should have seen it. But this movie was so much better than that. This film was a pinnacle achievement for Martin Scorsese. There were certain camera movements that were unusual and remarkable.

CAROLINE: There were also some funny moments. We definitely laughed several times. And by we I mean the audience.

RYAN: Yeah, I even remember turning to you and saying, “Who wrote this film?” ‘cos it was brizilliant.

CAROLINE: There’s not a whole lot to say other than this is a must-see.

RYAN: The only thing that annoyed me about the film – ok, actually two things – was Mark Wahlberg’s hair…

CAROLINE: Not his fault. He gave a fine performance, but yes, his hairstyle was not good.

RYAN: And what was the other thing that annoyed me?

CAROLINE: The girl?

RYAN: Yeah, I was a little turned off by Vera Farmiga. She did a great job but there’s something “Children of the Corn-ish” about her.

CAROLINE: I thought she was very good. What, you didn’t like her because she’s not traditionally beautiful, you shallow pig?

RYAN: Yes. No! It’s not her fugliness.There’s just something awkward about her. She kind of looks like that freaky, emotionless woman from “Wicker Man.”
She looked like her sister; albeit, her better-acting sister.

CAROLINE: She does resemble the “Wicker Man” girl, but thank God, she is a much better actress. Bottom line?

RYAN: This is a new achievement in film for 2006. I’m thrilled that we got to see it. Thank you Warner Bros. for the advanced screening. And run – don’t walk – to this. Like I said, the race is on. And you cannot miss this on the big screen.

CAROLINE: Three words: See. This. Movie.