SCHOOL FOR SCOUNDRELS

RYAN: Well I’m keeping up my end of the bargain and actually attending movies.

CAROLINE: Excuse you. But I saw “Sherrybaby” with you last week. And pardon me if I don’t wanna waste my time with things like “School for Scoundrels.”

RYAN: Well it wasn’t a complete waste of time. There were funny moments. Jon Heder did his thang and Billy Bob Thorton, plastic surgeried to the Nth degree.

CAROLINE: Oh no. Really?

RYAN: Yeah. Any close-up of him was painful.

CAROLINE: Ick.

RYAN: Yes. He’s the male Joan Rivers. Like every aspect of his face has been spliced.

CAROLINE: That is a horror and a half.

RYAN: But I took one for the team.

CAROLINE: As you often do.

RYAN: And I saw this movie.

CAROLINE: I don’t have much to say on this one and…

RYAN: Any questions?

CAROLINE: No… Um… Are there any good women in it?

RYAN: Actually, Jacinda Barrett’s in it.

CAROLINE: Oh! We know her, recently, from “The Last Kiss,” where she likes to go in and out of her Australian accent.

RYAN: She didn’t have to worry about that here coz she played a gal from Australia. But I have to note Jon Heder. He doesn’t pull out any Napoleon Dynamite. And he makes this character his own and it’s good to see him branch out and do his thing. I like him better than some other comedic actors.

CAROLINE: No… I think he’s a talent. It still cracks me up that he’s a Mormon with a wife; but, he’s like…

RYAN: He’s got a pretty rockin’ bod.

CAROLINE: Does he?

RYAN: He has a speedo moment and pulls it off well. I was, like, “Jon Heder!!!” But the one sad thing I must report is the film falls into the same jump-the-shark travesty as in “Wedding Crashers” when we meet Ben Stiller.

CAROLINE: (gasps)

RYAN: Not in the trailer. Suddenly three quarters into the film, when it should be wrapping up, there’s Ben Stiller and it’s sooo bad.

CAROLINE: Ben Stiller. I’m so over him.

RYAN: He’s ruining movies.

CAROLINE: This just in. Ben Stiller is a one trick pony.

RYAN: Ben Stiller is a movie killer.