THE BLACK DAHLIA
RYAN: Well unfortunately, “The Black Dahlia” is not all that we hoped
it would be.
CAROLINE: I’d go so far as to say that it’s a disappointment.
RYAN: It was highly melodramatic.
CAROLINE: Almost to be farcical.
RYAN: The actors were speaking in a way that they thought old film
actors spoke in that time.
CAROLINE: And even Hilary Swank could barely pull it off. And the
movie was like, Shakespearean – it felt like it was trying to be an
epic but I just wanted it to end.
RYAN: I actually thought the exact same thing but in a different way –
I thought they were almost speaking in an iambic pentameter. There
was a rhythm to the dialogue that made the whole thing seem discombobulated. There were so many loose ends, nothing made sense, it was not always entertaining and it was way too long.
CAROLINE: I couldn’t even tell you what was going on in the first ten minutes of the film. And not just because I’m dumb sometimes when it comes to movies! It was baffling overall, and there were several parts where I just thought, “What???”
RYAN: Yeah, there were at least five different turns in this film where you felt like it became a whole new movie each time.
CAROLINE: Some scenes were so ridiculously over-the-top that you felt like you were watching a whole other movie. And they were funny scenes in and of themselves, but you didn’t feel like it was the same movie.
RYAN: Yeah, it started off “Rocky,” then became “Silence of the Lambs” and then “Sunset Boulevard.”
CAROLINE: All very strange, and it just added up to a movie that for most of the time you’re thinking, “God, when is this going to end and how weird is it gonna get?”
RYAN: There is one scene with Hilary Swank’s family which is hilarious, and the woman who plays her mom also plays Aunt Petunia in the “Harry Potter” movies.
CAROLINE: Good God, can we have one post where we don’t mention Harry Potter?
RYAN: No. I thought Hilary was interesting in this.
CAROLINE: I like her. Though in this movie it’s really clear that she’s not traditionally pretty, and she doesn’t look all that much like the girl who gets killed, but the movie makes it seem like they’re practically twins or something.
RYAN: And Scarlett Johannesburg had some really interesting “Carrie”-esque lines, a la “They’re all gonna laugh at you!” And the audience did all laugh at her.
CAROLINE: Yes, but her hairdos and make-ups in this movie were fantastic!
RYAN: She’s gorgeous. Aaron Eckhart was fine.
CAROLINE: He overdid it in a couple of scenes.
RYAN: Josh Hartnett was so-so, a little stiff. Good to look at but nothing major.
CAROLINE: Is it me or is he an odd choice for this film?
RYAN: Totally. He was fine for Scarlett, and as we know, they hooked up on this film and are dating now, but he looked way too young for Hilary Swank.
CAROLINE: And way too young to be a contemporary of Aaron Eckhart.
RYAN: Yeah. Very strange.
CAROLINE: And in case you were wondering – yes, they do show the body cut in half. Bottom line?
RYAN: If you have a choice between this and “Hollywoodland,” choose “Hollywoodland.” Unfortunately, “Dahlia” is pretty lame.
CAROLINE: There were definitely some cool parts about it. It looks good, and has very cool vibe to it –
RYAN: Right, there were a lot of fun “Star Wars” kinds of transitions.
CAROLINE: I wasn’t done, but thanks for that. I didn’t hate “Black Dahlia” but I definitely got bored towards the end and was counting the minutes till it was over. I thought it was bizarre and disconnected, and overall, I really can’t recommend it.