SNAKES ON A PLANE

CAROLINE: Ryan did me a big solid today.

RYAN: I certainly did.

CAROLINE: And that’s because he saw “Snakes on a Plane” without me.

RYAN: I dragged my fun pal Kim along, who was a great sport. And why didn’t you want to see it?

CAROLINE: Well it gave me nightmares when I saw the trailer, remember?

RYAN: Nannie Nannie Boo Boo. A trailer gave you nightmares!

CAROLINE: Fine. But it looked really dumb. Is that good enough of a reason for you?

RYAN: Pretty dumb. Stoopid-dumb title. But the dumbest thing about it is… Are you sitting down?

CAROLINE: I am.

RYAN: There are shots where you see P.O.V of the snakes. It’s like a green/blurry effect where you’re looking through the eyes of a snake as it’s after its prey. And I was like, “Oh. Am I supposed to be seeing what the snakes are seeing right now?”

CAROLINE: Ok. That’s bizarre.

RYAN: That part was so ridonkulous. At first I was like “Why is the screen now blurry and green?”

CAROLINE: “Why am I now at ankle level?”

RYAN: (laughs) Exactly. Beyond weird. But the movie is a great thriller in the sense it’s an entertaining movie-going experience.

CAROLINE: How was Paycheck Jackson?

RYAN: Sammy was great. He had some lame-ass, quotable lines where people literally applauded after he’d say them.

CAROLINE: Gimme one.

RYAN: Like, “I’m tired of these mother f***ing snakes on this mother f***ing plane!”

CAROLINE: OMG. Embarrassing to me.

RYAN: I know. But if you have any interest in seeing this film; and it did open number one…

CAROLINE: With a disappointing number.

RYAN: Still, if you’re gonna see it, see it in the theater. It so will not be worth it on the tv screen. The thrill is in the dark theater, larger than life snakes, sound, etc..

CAROLINE: Right. Does it achieve the glory of previous B-movies? Or was it just dumb?

RYAN: It was ok. There’s actually a story that motivates there being snakes on that plane. And Julianna Margulies, surprisingly, did a good job. And Bobby Cannavale.

CAROLINE: Ooh, I like him. He’s real cute.

RYAN: He is cute. It was his first screen role as a straight man.

CAROLINE: (chuckles)

RYAN: He did a fine job. But he did play a cop again, which he played on “Will & Grace.”

CAROLINE: He did.

RYAN: That poor boy. Somebody give him an original role, already.

CAROLINE: Let him spread his wings a little.

RYAN: Bottom line: It is what it is. If you have any interest, must see in the theater. And it wasn’t that bad.