The Lone Ranger Review

RYAN: The new Disney big screen adaptation of The Lone Ranger stars Johnny Depp as Tonto and Armie Hammer as the titular ranger.  I was leery of J. Depp in this casting and rightly so because he is once again serving up the same character shtick as we’ve seen him do with Jack Sparrow, Willy Wonka… 

CHUCK: …Edward Scissorhands. 

RYAN: He even reminded me of his character in Dark Shadows in this. The makeup changes, the voice changes, but his facial expressions and movements are exactly the same.  Big eyes, slow creeping.  I’m so over it.  He was the wrong casting.

CHUCK: Then again, who would be the right choice to play Tonto?  This is Disney and Gore Verbinski and Jerry Bruckheimer trying to strike lightening again as they did with the Pirates movies.  Theoretically this could be a new franchise.

RYAN: True and I remember wondering why Johnny took a sidekick role in this film, but after seeing it, Tonto is not a sidekick.  He’s the star.  It’s the origin story of The Lone Ranger but Tonto is the driving force in the film and it’s Johnny’s movie.

CHUCK: They wouldn’t have been able to make this movie without a big star like Johnny attached to it.  Even with a director like Gore, who made this a beautiful movie – cinematography, costumes, sets…

RYAN: It was very desaturated in color which gave it a good, appropriate setting for the Western genre. 

CHUCK: That sun-bleached look. And the action was great.

RYAN: It was strong but the movie was choppy.  There’s not a good flow between the comedy and action and he romance was a complete fail!  There was zero chemistry between Armie and his love interest.  Was it even his love interest?  Their relationship was written so awkwardly you almost feel dirty rooting for them.  Awful.

CHUCK: Totally.  Just because this movie is pretty on the outside doesn’t mean it works on the inside.  The script wasn’t good.

RYAN: Totally.  The bones of the story were good.  Good outline, bad script.  But I love Armie in this.  He was charming and adorable but he fell into the biggest problem of the entire film which is that this turned the Lone Ranger into a bumbling idiot.  He’s supposed to be a hero and in this movie he’s a joke.  It saddens me that in order to justify this movie for a modern audience, Disney decided to completely stray from the spirit of The Lone Ranger and turn him into a fool.

CHUCK: You’re absolutely right.

RYAN: When you hear the iconic theme music it’s not hard hitting.  “Hi Ho, Silver” is a joke.  You laugh at him.

CHUCK: I remember watching some of the old black and white TV show and you’re right, he was a hero.  It was serious.

RYAN: Totally.

CHUCK: Armie is a good guy but he’s a joke.

RYAN: No surprise, Helena Bonham Carter is great in this and it’s cool seeing her on screen again with Johnny in a Disney movie since they were the Hatter and Queen of Hearts together in Alice in Wonderland.

CHUCK: I totally didn’t even think about that.  She’s always great and you wish there was more of her in this.

RYAN: It’s also too long.

CHUCK: They could have easily cut a half hour out of it.  It’s Disney but it’s PG-13.  Some elements were shocking and violent.  I think there was more in this than even in World War Z.

RYAN: I hate to say spoilers but I must say, beware the bunnies!

CHUCK: [laughs’ I know! What was that?

RYAN: Nightmares! Ha!  On the upside, I liked Tonto’s makeup.

CHUCK: Well the production value was wonderful and you can tell Disney threw money at this but they should have concentrated on the script.

RYAN: It’s also a bit potentially offensive to Native American Indians.

CHUCK: There’s the debate out there that Johnny is possibly part Native American, but still. 

RYAN: I’m was tempted to give this a rental rating, but the bad so outweighs the good, I can’t in good conscience encourage anyone to see this.

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