2009 Golden Globe Awards Review

RYAN: Welcome back, Golden Globes!

CAROLINE: We missed you so.

RYAN: It was a rather uneventful and somewhat predictable awards night.

CAROLINE: Well, considering I correctly predicted 20 of the categories, I’d have to agree.

RYAN: You scored a lot higher than I did, to be sure. Though everyone could see “Slumdog Millionaire” taking the top prize and Heath Ledger with the Supporting Actor.

CAROLINE: Oh, totally. And he wouldn’t have won if he were still alive, LBH.

RYAN: I don’t think, however, we all expected Kate Winslet to clean up the actress races.

CAROLINE: OMG that was huge! Especially since there was a rumor Anne Hathaway’s win had been leaked. Had that ever happened at a major awards show before – that the same actress won both?

RYAN: Doubt it. I feel bad for Annie, but Kate does have a bit of experience on her and there’s plenty of time for Anne to grow.

CAROLINE: Please. She’s, like, desperate at this point. Thanking her father at the Critic’s Choice Awards for showing her that good men exist and that she’s deserving of love? Save it for the therapist’s couch, honey.

RYAN: She had a rough 2008. Anyway, I’m a little disappointed by the lack of drama at the awards; aside from Mickey Rourke, who stole the award from Sean Penn, BTW.

CAROLINE: I agree. I wonder if they didn’t give it to Sean because he didn’t bother to show up. He totally should have won.

RYAN: Aside from Mickey’s spill up the stairs, there was very little to chortle about.

CAROLINE: What about that mess in a dress Jessica Lange?

RYAN: Oh right! This just in, don’t they make anxiety medication? Somebody write the poor gal a prescription stat!

CAROLINE: [laughs’ She couldn’t walk without the help of Drew Barrymore who sported the “I’ve just had sex in the limo on the way over” look.

RYAN: Oh, good. Let’s dish on the really important issues – the fashion.

CAROLINE: What on earth was Renée Zellweger wearing? Did something happen to her?

RYAN: Whatever it is, it happened a few years ago. But last night was an all-time low for her.

CAROLINE: Her hair reminded me of when Kate Hudson was nominated for “Almost Famous” and showed up looking like Dolly Parton years ago. This ain’t the CMAs, honey.

RYAN: And what was the matter with Steven Spielberg’s speech?

CAROLINE: Uh, you mean aside from the fact it was uber long and boring?

RYAN: Yes! How does such a creative force come up with such an awful speech for an achievement award?

CAROLINE: One can only wonder. And one can also only wonder why he has such a bad speech impediment.

RYAN: It’s a deterrence from giving the man another award.

CAROLINE: The same can be said for Sally Hawkins of “Happy-Go-Lucky.”

RYAN: OMG. Someone needs to lock her up with Jessica Lange.

CAROLINE: And feed her! To look skinny in a room filled with Hollywood women is a true warning sign. She’s clearly anorexic.

RYAN: Happy-Go-Hungry.

CAROLINE: [laughs’ Let’s hope she allows herself a celebratory meal… or meals.

RYAN: Overall it was a pretty classy night which ran relatively smoothly, aside from Darren Aronofsky’s bird flippage to Mickey Rourke.

CAROLINE: That was awesome. And the dude accepting for “Slumdog” dropping the F-bomb at the end. And I loved how Sacha Baron Cohen “went there” with his jokes.

RYAN: I love him. So it’s been a truly nice “welcome back” of sorts to the Globes!

CAROLINE: Now it’s all eyes on the Oscars! Nominations are announced on January 22nd.