2007 Academy Awards Review

RYAN: Another Oscars has ended and what a night it was.

CAROLINE: Clocking in at three hours and forty-five minutes, this was the longest movie I saw this year.

RYAN: [laughs’ Ain’t it the truth! It was sickeningly long, and surprisingly much less eventful than I’d hoped it would be.

CAROLINE: Ellen really played it safe. I like her, but her performance tonight was underwhelming.

RYAN: Politically, I understand it. As a gay woman, she wanted to avoid getting political. But she could have taken advantage of the fact that she had a large audience and tried to entertain us a little bit more. She got funnier as the night went on, but we’ve certainly had better hosts.

CAROLINE: I don’t think her lesbianism has anything to do with it. No one is gonna criticize her being gay, just for being not that funny.

RYAN: I just think she was afraid to do anything too political or controversial.

CAROLINE: She wasn’t very original. She got up and did a ten minute monologue at the beginning and then a couple jokes throughout the show. Nothing special. I miss the great show openers of yore with Billy Crystal.

RYAN: Ribbit.

CAROLINE: I liked the Pilobolus dance people. That was so cool.

RYAN: I’m really surprised that Dame Judi Wench didn’t bother to show up.

CAROLINE: [laughs’]

RYAN: That’s no spelling error. She’s a wench for not coming.

CAROLINE: What can you do? She’s old and she had to have knee surgery.

RYAN: There were really no surprising wins tonight, other than Alan Arkin.

CAROLINE: I bet Eddie Murphy got up and left the minute he found out he lost.

RYAN: I’m still not over Clive Owen’s MTV Video Music Awards garb, giving a big finger to fashion by not wearing a tie. I dug it.

CAROLINE: He can do no wrong in my book.

RYAN: Bottom line?

CAROLINE: I’m sort of neither here nor there on this year’s Oscars. But I certainly had fun blogging with you, sir!

RYAN: Me too. Sorry I was sort of a bitch tonight.

CAROLINE: You were a little grouchy.

RYAN: My favorite part of the night was your fabulous Rice Krispies Treats.

CAROLINE: Always a pleasure.