2007 Academy Awards Red Carpet

6:05 PM

CAROLINE: Ryan and I are liveblogging tonight, so I told him to be at my apartment promptly at 6:00. However, he just texted me to say he’s going to be late. The nerve! I’m sitting here by myself with a panful of Rice Krispies Treats, one row of which I’ve already eaten. Stay tuned…no one good has arrived on the red carpet yet anyway.

6:10 PM

CAROLINE: Still no sign of Ryan. But Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard are on the red carpet – decent arrival for the first fifteen minutes. Maggie’s keeping it real and admitting she’s nervous. Gyllenhaaaaal and Sarsgaaaaard – perfect together.

6:19 PM

CAROLINE: Ryan has arrived (finally). Someone needs to feed Debbie Matenopoulos.

6:28 PM

RYAN: In recognition of our first live blog, I think we need to start the event off with a song!

BOTH: (singing) “Oh what a beautiful evening! Oh what a beautiful night! We have a wonderful feeling… the Oscars will turn out all right!!”

RYAN: I’m loving Portia DeRossi! And Jodie Foster. It’s an enormous night for our lesbifriends!! And it’s the first time an out gay is hosting the Oscars.

CAROLINE: Why is Elizabeth Shue wearing a potato sack? She better be pregnant.

6:37 PM

CAROLINE: Oh my God, oh my God – what is Jennifer Hudson wearing?

RYAN: She looks like a Martian. Her stylist should be taken out back and shot. It’s the biggest night of her life, and she looks like ass.

CAROLINE: Tragic.

RYAN: Emily Blunt looks great though.

6:49 PM

CAROLINE: Wow, Penelope Cruz has gone all out. She has that couture feathery thing going on. She probably figures this is her only shot at a Best Actress nomination so she may as well go for it. What’s with the fake hairpiece?

RYAN: Ooh, there’s Jessica Biel! She looks gorge.

CAROLINE: I love the pink but why is she at the Oscars? She’s this year’s Jessica Alba. In 2008, there will be a new Jessica.

6:53 PM

CAROLINE: This just in: Penny Cruz still can’t speak English.

7:00 PM

RYAN: Jessica Biel looks fabu in fuchsia! And a note on the mens‘ fashion. I’m disappointed to see bow ties making a comeback. For the last decade we’ve seen long ties and I’ve enjoyed it.

7:25 PM

CAROLINE: Be still my beating heart – Sacha Baron Cohen has arrived!!! He is so unbelievably hot, and stands a full head taller than everyone else. Lord have mercy! His height, the head full of curls – it’s all too much.

RYAN: Love how he’s working the long tie. And his fiancée Isla Fisher looks abbasolutely outstanding!! But Kirsten Dunst has a dead bird at the bottom of her dress.

CAROLINE: She’s not glam enough for an event like this.

7:33 PM

RYAN: Stop the presses! I may have found my best dressed of the night: Gwyneth Paltrow! The color, the fit, the ever’thing!! But we haven’t see Nikki Kidman yet.

CAROLINE: Ick, I totally disagree. I hate the color of Gwyneth’s dress. And girlfriend seriously needs a haircut.

7:48 PM

CAROLINE: Wow, Reese! What a knockout!

RYAN: Holy bejesus! I think she has surpassed Gwyneth for best dressed. Her silhouette, her simplicity, hair, etc… I’m rapt!

7:56 PM

RYAN: Nikki Kidman, you can wear red! You’re saying “look at me!” and you have the right to say that.

CAROLINE: My boyfriend Clive Owen has arrived. And although I love the red on Nicole, I’m not digging the dress.

RYAN: She has a second head growing out of her shoulder.

8:01 PM

CAROLINE: Why oh why must Leonardo DiCaprio always have that wretched slicked back hair and chin fuzz?

8:02 PM

CAROLINE: What in God’s name is Lisa Ling wearing? Nice kneecaps.

8:15 PM

RYAN: Why is Rachel McAdams not with Ryan Gosling? I mean, it’s the main reason why I’m watching tonight.

CAROLINE: Sadness. He’s brought his mother and sister as his dates. I feel like he and Rachel have made a conscious choice not to do the red carpet together.

RYAN: Maybe they broke up.

CAROLINE: You take that back!

8:24 PM

RYAN: I’m so upset about Kate Winslet. She is adored and I’m rooting for “Little Children” in every category it’s in; however, she’s making me long for a mint in that train wreck of a dress.

CAROLINE: It’s way too pale a color for her. I like it when she wears brighter colors and red lipstick.

8:26 PM

CAROLINE: Let’s hear it for Helen Mirren! She’s keeping it real for the older ladies. Love the V-neck. Fabulous!

RYAN: Ok, Andre Leon Talley just said Jennifer Hudson is one of his best dressed.

CAROLINE: Surely, you can’t be serious.