October 23, 2014 in HORROR

Ouija Review

OuijaRYAN: I fully predicted this movie would be a disappointment, though I always hope out hope for horror movies because I really like them – when they’re scary – and alas, this one isn’t.

CAROLINE: I find that hard to believe, because the commercial freaks me out.  But I know you have a certain level of expectation for cinematic scary.  Why didn’t this measure up?

RYAN: It;s the most basic request in a horror movie to be scary and although there is some imagery at the end that is creepy, this movie is not scary, unless maybe you’re 4 years old.

CAROLINE: (laughs) Ok.

RYAN: There are a few jumps but they’re just because of the editing and the sound effects.  It’s such a boring movie.  It actually feels more like a Halloween themed After School Special than a movie.

CAROLINE: It’s too bad.  You think with a subject like the Ouija board, there could have been something more to it.

RYAN: They tried but the story is cliche and derivative.  They’re dealing with a haunting, of course, and it’s just tedious.  The movie is an hour and a half but feels like three hours because there are scenes with dialogue and then these scenes of ominous, moody music.

CAROLINE: How’s the cast?

RYAN: Strange.  There’s really no one of note in it except Daren Kagasoff, formerly Shailene Woodley’s costar on TV’s The Secret Life of the American Teenager.

CAROLINE: No clue.

RYAN: But they all act like they’re on muscle relaxers, which also slowed the movie down.

CAROLINE: (laughs) That’s so odd.

RYAN: It’s also sometimes frustrating because these crazy things happen and then in the very next scene everyone’s acting like nothing happened.  Or they go into a room and don’t turn a light on, or other obviously stupid things.  It just doesn’t work at all.

CAROLINE: Yeah sounds like a mess of a movie.

RYAN: Please skip this one.  The last thing we need next year is Ouija 2.

SKIP IT

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